Some Silly Fool Buys Anna’s Diaries

The journals of Anna Nicole Smith have finally been unloaded onto some sap who manages to somehow have worse taste than I do. Some record company exec from Dallas ended up paying $59,750 for the tomes penned by the late Playboy Playmate.

Heritage was retained to auction the items by an unidentified German businessman who reportedly purchased the mementos from eBay last month for more than $500,000.

Both journals, which contain entries that reflect Smith’s anxieties about her weight, the beginning of her modeling career and her relationship with elderly hubby J. Howard Marshall II, were priced at a minimum of $25,000 apiece.

I really, REALLY hope that the reason this guy actually paid for her diaries is because he believes that somewhere in the pages of her ramblings, she reveals the location of the Holy Grail though a complicated system of anagrams and obtuse clues. For example, “blood of Christ” is represented by the mention of “Diet Vanilla Cherry Dr. Pepper” and whenever Anna mentions “poop” she really means…well, “poop,” but like, really holy poop.