Socialite Life’s Crimes of 2008

December 21st, 2008 // Leave a Comment

It was a year filled with tragedy, evil-doing and dumbass behavior. Let’s take a look.

Stalking was at an all-time high this year, with Jennifer Garner, Alyssa Milano and Kirsten Dunst filing for orders of protection against crazies who kept bothering them. That kind of shit is one reason not to go into acting.

In July, actor Shia LaBeouf got his truck rolled after he was in a traffic accident at an Hollywood intersection. It was ruled to be the other driver’s fault, but LaBeouf was also found to be drunk at the scene, and cited for a misdemeanor. Someone knows someone down at the police station. LaBeouf severely injured his hand in the wreck.

Anne Hathaway‘s boyfriend of four years Rafaello Follieri went to prison for getting rich people to invest in his fake Vatican property scheme. Hathaway dumped him right before he was arrested which makes one wonder just how much involvement she had in his arrest.

Heather Locklear was busted for DUI at the end of September in Montecito, CA and gave us one of the saddest crazy eyes mugshots of the year. Locklear was reportedly loopy on pills at the time and had recently been treated for depression. She faces up to six months in jail.

Nick Hogan, dimwit son to Hulk, went to jail in May for felony reckless driving for a street racing accident which left his best friend in a permanent vegetative state. Hogan’s behavior during his imprisonment (whining on the phone to his parents, etc.) was rank and there was a definite “blame the victim” mentality among him and his family members. He was released early in October for good behavior before he could be rightfully tattooed on his ass and employed as someone’s prag.

In April rage-a-holic supermodel Naomi Campbell threw a wobbly at Heathrow Airport when one of her bags wasn’t allowed on the plane. She reportedly spit at and hurled racist epithets (as opposed to her cell phone) at responding police officers and was arrested. But then she was released to terrorize the world once more!

George O’Dowd (Boy George to you and I) was recently convicted of assaulting and falsely imprisoning a Norweigian male prostitute in November of 2007. George apparently chained him to his apartment wall and beat him with some more chain. He’s a big fan of Home Depot.

Mark Ruffalo’s brother’s Scott‘s shooting death this month was recently found to be a homicide. Two suspects have already been treated and released. The death was initially believed to be from a game of Russian roulette.

And lastly, the most tragic (besides the above) celebrity crime this year were the murders of Jennifer Hudson‘s mother, brother and 7-year old nephew in October. The crimes, which were reportedly committed by Jennifer’s brother-in-law, made national headlines in October.

Included in our 2008 celebrity crime gallery are runner-ups Andy Dick, Gary Dourdan, Josh Brolin, Richie Sambora, Ryan O’Neal, Scott Weiland, Vanilla Ice, Ne-Yo, Lil’ Wayne, Suge Knight, Mischa Barton, Barron Hilton and O.J. Simpson.


It was a year filled with tragedy, evil-doing and dumbass behavior. Let’s take a look.

Stalking was at an all-time high this year, with Jennifer Garner, Alyssa Milano and Kirsten Dunst filing for orders of protection against crazies who kept bothering them. That kind of shit is one reason not to go into acting.

In July, actor Shia LaBeouf got his truck rolled after he was in
a traffic accident at an Hollywood intersection. It was ruled to be the
other driver’s fault, but LaBeouf was also found to be drunk at the
scene, and cited for a misdemeanor. Someone knows someone down at the
police station. LaBeouf severely injured his hand in the wreck.

Anne Hathaway‘s boyfriend of four years Rafaello Follieri went
to prison for getting rich people to invest in his fake Vatican
property scheme. Hathaway dumped him right before he was arrested which makes one wonder just how much involvement she had in his arrest.

Heather Locklear was busted for DUI at the end of September in Montecito, CA and gave us one of the saddest crazy eyes mugshots of the year.
Locklear was reportedly loopy on pills at the time and had recently
been treated for depression. She faces up to six months in jail.

Nick Hogan, dimwit son to Hulk,
went to jail in May for felony reckless driving for a street racing
accident which left his best friend in a permanent vegetative state.
Hogan’s behavior during his imprisonment (whining on the phone to his
parents, etc.) was rank and there was a definite “blame the victim”
mentality among him and his family members. He was released early in
October for good behavior before he could be rightfully tattooed on his
ass and employed as someone’s prag.

In April rage-a-holic supermodel Naomi Campbell threw a wobbly
at Heathrow Airport when one of her bags wasn’t allowed on the plane.
She reportedly spit at and hurled racist epithets (as opposed to her
cell phone) at responding police officers and was arrested. But then she was released to terrorize the world once more!

George O’Dowd (Boy George to you and I) was recently convicted
of assaulting and falsely imprisoning a Norweigian male prostitute in
November of 2007. George apparently chained him to his apartment wall
and beat him with some more chain. He’s a big fan of Home Depot.

Mark Ruffalo’s brother’s Scott‘s shooting death this month was recently found to be a homicide. Two suspects have already been treated and released. The death was initially believed to be from a game of Russian roulette.

And lastly, the most tragic (besides the above) celebrity crime this year were the murders of Jennifer Hudson‘s
mother, brother and 7-year old nephew in October. The crimes, which
were reportedly committed by Jennifer’s brother-in-law, made national
headlines in October.Included in our 2008 celebrity crime gallery are runner-ups Andy Dick, Gary Dourdan, Josh Brolin, Richie Sambora, Ryan O’Neal, Scott Weiland, Vanilla Ice, Ne-Yo, Lil’ Wayne, Suge Knight, Mischa Barton, Barron Hilton and O.J. Simpson.

By J. Harvey

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