Socialite Life BS Awards 2008: No. 1 – Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt

December 8th, 2008 // 6 Comments

And the award for most deserving of a SOCIALITE LIFE Bitch Slap in 2008 goes to…drumroll please…Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt! What a surprise! They don’t even have speeches prepared!

To explain why these two reality television fixtures were selected for our prestigious honor, both editors Lisa Timmons and J. Harvey give their two cents:

Lisa says: Everything about these two is so incredibly fake and plastic: from Heidi’s giant, blindingly-white veneers, to Spencer’s demonic smile and ultimately their faux relationship that culminated at the end of this year with a “surprise” wedding for which they were obviously paid handsomely.

They’re the human artificial sweetener–leaving a weird after-taste in your mouth and quite possibly rotting your insides with cancer after prolonged exposure.

J. says: It wouldn’t surprise either of us if these two “married” cretins were responsible for the collapse of our economy this year, the gradual melting of the polar ice caps, I Love Money 2 on VH-1, and the DC Sniper attacks in 2002.

Heidi’s mother recently opined that Spencer had to have drugged her daughter to get her down to Mexico for their fake wedding. The only drug involved in their whole scenario is money. Getting paid for very little. And they’re both big ole’ junkies.

They are all that is evil in the world, and sick and wrong about our culture. To have to continually watch two money-grubbing rubber-faced whores continue to get paid for being two money-grubbing rubber-faced whores has driven many of us in the gossip profession into therapy. Our secret, dreamy wish in our heart of hearts is that they pose for photos one day in 2009 and no one cares.

That even a homeless meth-head looks at them posing desperately on Arbor Day in front of some trees, pees on the grass in front of them, and walks away not realizing who they are…

Click any photo to view all 45+ photos of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in the gallery!

And the award for most deserving of a SOCIALITE LIFE Bitch Slap in 2008 goes to…drumroll please…Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt! What a surprise! They don’t even have speeches prepared! To explain why these two reality television fixtures were selected for our prestigious honor, both editors Lisa Timmons and J. Harvey give their two cents:Lisa says: Everything about these two is so incredibly fake and plastic: from Heidi’s giant, blindingly-white veneers, to Spencer’s demonic smile and ultimately their faux relationship that culminated at the end of this year with a “surprise” wedding for which they were obviously paid handsomely. They’re
the human artificial sweetener–leaving a weird after-taste in your
mouth and quite possibly rotting your insides with cancer after
prolonged exposure.

J. says: It wouldn’t surprise either of us if these two “married” cretins were responsible for the collapse of our economy this year, the gradual melting of the polar ice caps, I Love Money 2 on VH-1, and the DC Sniper attacks in 2002.

Heidi’s mother recently opined that Spencer had to have drugged her daughter
to get her down to Mexico for their fake wedding. The only drug
involved in their whole scenario is money. Getting paid for very
little. And they’re both big ole’ junkies.

They are all that is evil in the world, and sick and wrong about our culture. To have to continually watch two money-grubbing rubber-faced whores
continue to get paid for being two money-grubbing rubber-faced whores
has driven many of us in the gossip profession into therapy. Our
secret, dreamy wish in our heart of hearts is that they pose for photos
one day in 2009 and no one cares.

That even a homeless meth-head looks at them posing desperately on
Arbor Day in front of some trees, pees on the grass in front of them,
and walks away not realizing who they are…

Check out all 45+ photos of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt in the gallery!

By Lisa Timmons
  1. Disaffected

    Well, good grief, you have my official permission to stop posting anything about them. What more do you need?

  2. Oh jeez

    After all that you post a Gallery of them!? Can you see the source of the problem? Do you understand irony? Please stop it. And while I’m at it, stop showing pix of Suri, or at least peg it back to once a week.

  3. Janepitt

    I have only posted on this worthless duo once. In the hopes that they would go away. They are completely void of any depth. Useless wastes of space. The Kardashisans and the Jolie-Pitts escaped your bullshit awards.

  4. stacey

    these 2 make me want to puke. im sure there future kids (ugh!) will be so touched by these sacred “honeymoon” pics. disgusting

  5. Lily

    You know people comment about them, that’s why you still post about them, again & again. You’re so stupid. That’s why I like them. They show YOUR stupidity.

  6. Joe

    I completely agree! If you will stop writing about them and stop posting pictures of them you know what? They will go away! All of everyones prayers will be answered! Unreal.

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