Socalite Rank Is Over

Socialite is a bust. Thousands of woman on Park Avenue are leaping out windows.

Socialite Rank, the adorably ungrammatical Website that chronicled, lampooned, and at times brought to tears the new generation of charity-circuit women, announced today that after a year’s effort it will publish no more. SR’s creators, tenaciously anonymous even at the height of their fame, now plan to publish a book, The Year of the Rank.

I’m bullshit. I was gunning for the top ten. I had a little dog, a Range Rover, and Daddy on the Isle of Malta with his ex-secretary-concubine ready to release my trust fund and now this! This is bullshit! Where’s that phantom girl that ran this mess? I got a bone to pick with her.