Slovenly Housewife-Lookin Guy Is A Flight Risk

Seriously, he looks like that mom that one of your friends had that was always smoking and had a baby on her hip and let her dog go all over the yard. Pull it together, lady! Uncle Kracker’s five million bond for his sex offense charge is because he foolishly told the cops he would flee to avoid charges if given the chance. This is why when the cops get involved, you should will yourself sober and shut your cakehole.

According to the arrest documents obtained by TMZ, “arresting officers informed this court that [Kracker] made statements that he would immediately fly back to Michigan to avoid charges.” Kracker, who was determined to be “a nationally known singer with major assets at his disposal” was then branded an “exceptionally high flight risk.” His bond was then set at a cool $5 mil.

Raleigh Police tell TMZ that Kracker was busted early Friday morning after a 26-year-old female approached an off-duty cop in a nightclub and reported that “he had committed a sexual act against her while she was inside the establishment.”

Dummy. Who are these people? Kracker had a platinum-selling album. If you can’t get laid, hire someone. You’ve got the money, you hillbilly! Kid Rock is not amused by any of this. First his midget died, and now this.

Tags: Kid Rock