Slimy Dude Reports on Paris vs. Tara in Bed

That skeevy guy Joe Francis who runs Girls Gone Wild went on Howard Stern yesterday and compared Paris Hilton to Tara Reid in the sexual arena . First of all, this guy needs to go to a nuclear reactor and set off the personal plutonium detector and get his ass scrubbed down with wire brushes and lye like they did to Meryl Streep in Silkwood. Can you imagine the critters hopping all over him? Chances are there were already quite a few even before he got with those walking sperm receptacles. Anyway, he picked Paris as the “winner” and notice I use that in quotes.

When Stern asked Francis who gave the best oral sex, he responded, “Paris is the best … Paris is amazing in bed … better than anyone.” Go figure.

As for the worst, Joe said it was Tara Reid, but couldn’t quite, er, put his finger on why. Robin asked, “Does she just lay there?” and he said, “Yeah, pretty much.”

She just laid there because she was probably passed out blue. That girl is a wetbrain drunk. As for this pinhead, maybe someone should ask the guy who kidnapped him, tied him up, and stuffed a dildo in his butt to compare Joe’s anus to other guys’ rectums. True story (Joe Francis Kidnapper Guilty).