Slimy Dude Reports on Paris vs. Tara in Bed

February 1st, 2007 // 6 Comments

That skeevy guy Joe Francis who runs Girls Gone Wild went on Howard Stern yesterday and compared Paris Hilton to Tara Reid in the sexual arena . First of all, this guy needs to go to a nuclear reactor and set off the personal plutonium detector and get his ass scrubbed down with wire brushes and lye like they did to Meryl Streep in Silkwood. Can you imagine the critters hopping all over him? Chances are there were already quite a few even before he got with those walking sperm receptacles. Anyway, he picked Paris as the “winner” and notice I use that in quotes.

When Stern asked Francis who gave the best oral sex, he responded, “Paris is the best … Paris is amazing in bed … better than anyone.” Go figure.

As for the worst, Joe said it was Tara Reid, but couldn’t quite, er, put his finger on why. Robin asked, “Does she just lay there?” and he said, “Yeah, pretty much.”

She just laid there because she was probably passed out blue. That girl is a wetbrain drunk. As for this pinhead, maybe someone should ask the guy who kidnapped him, tied him up, and stuffed a dildo in his butt to compare Joe’s anus to other guys’ rectums. True story (Joe Francis Kidnapper Guilty).

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. chichi

    Why pick on Tara? He’s a bully it would seem, using someone so defenseless and downtrodden to get publicity is pathetic. We all saw Rick Solomon’s vid, nuff said about Paris and sex. How much plastic surgery has JF had anyway, look at that mug.

  2. Jinxy McDeath

    He’s must be oozing STD’s from every orafice and pore of his body. I don’t know whether they are slimey for sleeping with such a teabagger, or if he slummed sleeping with those cock garages. Kind of a creepy toss up. No protection. Eeeek!!!!

  3. julz

    uhhhhhhhhhh

    Can we just STOP with the sex videos now??? It was kind of cute when Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson shared the love back in 2001, but now it’s gone too far. When “One Night in paris” came out, I thought I’d have to boil my eyeballs as I knew I’d never, ever feel clean again.

    And now this. Apparently, I can feel the same sliminess coat my entire body just by reading a description.

    Thanks a lot, dude. No, really, Thank YOU.

  4. hohn

    He is disgusting. Read this article on Joe Francis.

    http://www.latimes.com/features/magazine/west/la-tm-gonewild32aug06,0,2664370.story

    The pedophilic rapist slimebag.
    I hope some dad takes his ass out.

  5. esme

    Joe Francis denied that he or Paris Hilton were involved with the “exposed” website, yet he plugged the place 3 or 4 times during the interview, telling listeners to go check out him and Paris fucking on the site (no thanks.)

    i bet SHE’S PAYING HIM to say she was good in bed and plug the website – that’s how low Paris goes. we’ve all seen paris fuck and it’s pathetic. answering your phone mid-fuck? laying there like a dead fish? yeah, real amazing.

  6. kikichanelconspiracy

    “When Stern asked Francis who gave the best oral sex, he responded, “Paris is the best … Paris is amazing in bed … better than anyone.” Go figure.”

    A conceited, egotistical slag like Paris is ‘amazing’ in bed? Not a f-ing chance.

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