Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt Makes an Appearance


Shiloh! Zahara! America’s Most Beloved and Photogenic family made an appearance. I’m glad Ange is over that whole post-partum depression deal wherein she thought Shiloh was just a “blob” because she wasn’t retrieved from some horrific orphanage in a faraway land. Seriously, for a second there I thought it was gonna be a Christina Crawford moment. Where Angie would have a big birthday party for her and every other gift would go to Z or Maddox. And she’d be like “but Mommy, those are my gifts!” and Angelina, beautiful and eyes flashing, would look over and explain that “Maddox and Zahara come from something real, Shiloh and you come from my very own uterus. I was raised here in the capitalist pig United States where I had it easy. So did you. Maddox and Zahara come from strife so they deserve more things. You are a white devil. Embrace it. Now go kneel on some rice, oppressor.”