Send in the Clowns: Virgie Arthur in the Hizzy

(WENN)

As Anna Nicole’s corpse moulders (no, really, it is), her estranged Mom took the stage ..I mean stand in Florida today to bash Howard K. and throw some love on Larry Birkhead and deny that she’s in it for the money. Much like I did yesterday with Howard K. Stern’s lies, I’m going to provide you with Virgie’s in handy list form. Enjoy!

After taking questions about being paid by a paparazzi agency, Arthur charged, “The only one who’s ever made any money off my daughter is that man right there,” pointing to Stern. She added, “I heard that “ET” is buying her death funeral … for a million bucks.”

“Death funeral”? Is that like “birth christening”? Sorry, Virgie, go on.

Virgie Arthur told the court that she and Anna Nicole Smith’s ex-lover Larry Birkhead had a “special bond,” and that Birkhead left flowers at Daniel Smith’s grave in the Bahamas. She was not allowed, she claims, to know the location of Daniel’s grave on a recent visit, but when she learned the location, she found flowers from Birkhead there.

Sweet. Oh, there’s more. Don’t even think about not reading it.

Virgie told the court that her relationship with her daughter deteriorated once she met Howard K. Stern.

“We were close — we got our nails painted together,” said Arthur, who added that she lost touch with Anna when Smith began to abuse drugs. When asked what regrets she had concerning her relationship with her daughter, Virgie said, “I would’ve kidnapped her” when she began her downward spiral into drug abuse. Arthur also told Judge Larry Seidlin that when she visited Anna Nicole during a health crisis, her minders told her that they had been informed that her mother was dead, which wasn’t true.

Uh, I hope it isn’t true because she’s flapping her gums. Otherwise, she’s exceptionally animated for a dead woman. My only thought is that if there wasn’t money to be made off this, none of these people would have gotten out of their Barcaloungers or off their bar stools to even participate.