Send In The Clowns: Larry Birkhead’s Turn

February 22nd, 2007 // 6 Comments

Today was wannabe babydaddy Larry Birkhead’s time to shine . He has some interesting highlights going on, and I think he uses a flat iron. At least if he ends up with Danielynn, she will always have good product and the best hair styling tools to use on her salad. Here’s the gist of what he had to say.

Larry Birkhead broke down on the stand, while trying to describe his efforts to convince Anna Nicole Smith to stop using drugs.

“They kept bringing more and more drugs into the house,” he said. “I knew it was really bad … they had [an Anna Nicole assistant's] name up in the pharmacy as a VIP.”

Per usual, there’s more. Keep reading!

Birkhead told the court in the Anna Nicole Smith case that Howard K. Stern bugged him relentlessly in May 2006, to deny to magazines and tabloids that he was the father of Dannielynn, even calling him “200 times” while Birkhead was working, to try to persuade him. Birkhead said that he obliged Stern’s request just to “get him off my back,” but later sold photos establishing his relationship with Anna Nicole to reverse the media report and correct the record.

God, imagine that pinhead continually blowing up your cell and asking you to deny you’re the daddy just so he can secure millions for his damn self. Now, like everyone, I have no clue who the father is. From the footage I’ve seen and the things I’ve read – it could be my dead grandfather, Neo, Cookie Monster, the guy who works in the bodega at the end of my block, or Jesus Christ. Because Anna seems like she was good to go with just about anyone. She needed the personal warmth, I guess. But it seems like it’s very likely it was this Birkhead guy. FINISH THE DAMN PATERNITY TEST ALREADY!

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. Me

    I agree, I haven’t been this anxious since waiting to see who killed Laura Palmer

  2. Jinxy McDeath

    If only a meteor would hit that court room, the world would truly be a better place. All of them are evel and nuts.

  3. Draya

    Larry B. is Uber-Metrosexual. Becks could take some hair care tipe from this dude.

  4. Draya

    Crap. Sorry, I meant hair care “tips”. *Chuckle*

  5. NJ

    It takes a commercial break to get results of DNA/Paternity tests on Maury Povich…

    What’s the effing hold-up here?

  6. NJ

    It takes a commercial break to get results of DNA/Paternity tests on Maury Povich…

    What’s the effing hold-up here?

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