Ryan Phillippe: Reese Witherspoon Is Dumb

August 5th, 2008 // 23 Comments

He didn’t say that (out loud). But I did. Here’s Ryan Phillippe working himself into a glistening sweat in the Hollywood Hills. The droplets are running down through the straits of his rock-hard abs and following his treasure trail into golden penis wonderland.

So he cheated. Gawd! It’s not like he raped a kitten! Reese Witherspoon should have just run out and banged someone to even the score and settled back down on his rippling pecs. Cuz’ now she’s with a gay! That’s a lot of work! Always getting her tops criticized and not because they don’t show off her boobs.

This entry would have had ended with me looking for Kleenex, but then I looked at his back. What the hell is that? Is that the Virgin Mary as played by Kermit the Frog? Never get tattoos when you’re drunk. Ever.

Click any photo to view all 10+ photos of a shirtless Ryan Phillippe in the gallery!


He didn’t say that (out loud). But I did. Here’s Ryan Phillippe
working himself into a glistening sweat in the Hollywood Hills. The
droplets are running down through the straits of his rock-hard abs and
following his treasure trail into golden penis wonderland.So he cheated. Gawd! It’s not like he raped a kitten! Reese Witherspoon should have just run out and banged someone to even the score and settled back down on his rippling pecs. Cuz’ now she’s with a gay! That’s a lot of work! Always getting her tops criticized and not because they don’t show off her boobs.This
entry would have had ended with me looking for Kleenex, but then I
looked at his back. What the hell is that? Is that the Virgin Mary as
played by Kermit the Frog? Never get tattoos when you’re drunk. Ever.Check out all 10+ photos of a shirtless Ryan Phillippe in the gallery!

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. stolidog

    well, his backside is the holy land

  2. Merlin

    Ryan was smart enough to dump the bitch.

    Good for him.

  3. Rockmelon

    I wish the media would quit calling Jake gay. Why do you do that? If he is gay, it’s his business and if he isn’t, then it’s just plain cruel to keep referring to him as being gay.

    Don’t you think that hurts his parents and the rest of his family? Why don’t you just lay off!

  4. JoJo

    Jake should quit bearding.

  5. Top

    Fuck off Rockmelon.

    There is nothing wrong with being gay.

  6. seth

    Ryan is a God.

  7. PublicDisplay

    Whatever, I would much rather date an honest guy who was humble than an egotistical cheater… VD be damned

  8. leah

    I don’t believe anything I read in the tabloids about Reese and Ryan. I have a feeling that alot went on between them and they are equally bad to be with but both of them seem better then most Hollywood crazy people.

    So in other words I think he looks deliciously delicious and I would date him anytime anywhere.

  9. stolidog

    Top sounds like a power bottom in disguise.

  10. lilvix

    People always say stuff like this…but I know of this 19-year-old girl that he met while vacaying in Hawaii with his family when he was married that he was hitting on. He kept in contact with her and even was emailing her personal pics of him often with his kids. Everytime I see him, I can’t help but think of creepy married guy trying to get it on with someone barely legal.

  11. lilvix

    Whoa…sorry for the multiple posts. My connection was sucking….

  12. justme

    His tattoo shows his grandfather’s hand with angel wings holding the smaller hand of Ryan’s young son, Deacon.

    People are always skeptical of “it happened to a friend of mine” stories about celebrities because there’s never any accompanying proof. It reminds me of a girl I knew in high school, who showed me the love letters she said she received from the cute camp counselor that all the girls had a crush on. Even had photos “to prove it” but all she had was a photo of her, the counselor, and two other campers between them. Turns out she had written “his love letters” to herself. I doubt the counselor even knew she existed. Of course, I can’t provide proof of this, LOL.

  13. misslala

    I would rather be with Jake any day, gay or not, than to be with a cheater who didn’t respect me or the family that we have together. But silly me, it’s Hollywood, people should be allowed to do whatever they want, even if they are married. Actually, that’s true for America in general, right? Besides, Jake isn’t gay, it’s so obvious.

  14. SweetSoprano

    Wow you guys crack me up…

    RockMelon: It is obviously you are waaay to sensitive for this site.

    PublicDisplay: I highly doubt ANY celebrity is humble, let alone Jake Gyllenhaal. They’re all the same.

    Lilvix: My friend’s mom’s cousin’s friend lives in LA…and she says you’re an idiot.

    Besides, who knows for sure if he ever actually cheated on her or not? I though Brad cheated on Jenn, right? So I guess if Abigail and Ryan adopt a couple hundred kids he’ll be praised like the second coming too and everyone will forget his past?

  15. sammy

    Lilvix stop trying to make the meme that Ryan gets with teenage girls happen. If he did it would be all over the place. You would certainly not be the only source. Why do you go to the trouble to make something up about a person you know nothing about and then post different versions of the story on so many sites? Are you that big of a Reese fan that you can’t stand people having positive thoughts about Ryan Phillippe? Or are you just f’ed in the head?

  16. Marie

    Anybody else notice his right hand and how it looks like there are multiple fingers in there? Photoshop, maybe?

  17. Marie

    Anybody else notice his right hand and how it looks like there are multiple fingers in there? Photoshop, maybe?

  18. majo

    what the hell? she´s dumb coz she left him? JUST coz he cheated on her? ur implying she should forgive him coz he´s hot? u have some serious problems jackass, the adult mature thing to do isnt to just get back at somebody by fucking someone else, jesus, what is wrong with you?

  19. ken

    This ptoto was uploaded to an interracial dating place interracial chatting . c o m and a guys said that he loves it. I am no sure weather it has been deleted by the customer.

  20. Arielsigma

    I’m sold :)) +1

  21. les

    Yep, that’s right! I would stay with a womanizer JUST because he’s good looking. That would insure happiness and contentment in a marriage!

    Now THAT is stupid. I respect Reese a lot more than these women in the news lately who have stuck by their publicly, cheating husbands (politics).

  22. missy

    And he obviously cheated because the tabloids are ALWAYS right? Come on. How much bull do they print? Maybe it wasn’t the “cheating”(that there’s no proof of) but it was how she gets more money than him! You people seriously believe those magazines? Maybe if they had pictures or videos of Ryan with someone else like kissing while he was with Reese. Not after or set pictures. And as SweetSoprano said, Brad cheated on Jennifer, then adopted kids and had biological ones with Angelina and that made everything okay. So maybe Ryan should adopt some kids with Abbie or whoever else he supposedly cheated with and he’ll be praised too.

  23. goldend

    “So I guess if Abigail and Ryan adopt a couple hundred kids he’ll be praised like the second coming too and everyone will forget his past?”

    No, because unlike Brangelina no one cares about those two.

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