RuPaul’s Drag Race – ‘Totally Leotarded’
I just want to say that my co-recapper, the fabulous Nicolette is a little “under the weather” this week but, as a true entertainer and living by the saying “the show must go on”, this intrepid performer battled a head cold to be with me for this recap – what a trouper! It’s a new day at the Drag Lab. Delta is feeling re-energized and Mimi’s still stinging from the fact that she didn’t win last week’s sci-fi challenge. Delta seems to be voicing the opinion of the rest of the queens when he says that Mimi shouldn’t keep thinking she’s truly first in this competition. There’s no time for whining and trash talking because, girl, you got she mail!
Check out more of our “Ru-cap” after the jump!
Ru tells the gals that to be the next drag superstar, they’ve got to “feel the burn”. She wants to hear their bodies talk, to which Delta quips, “You don’t want to know what this one has to say!” Boy Ru, wearing the largest boutonniere in the world, comes in and tells the queens that it’s time to get “leotarded”. By the way, Ru, these two fans love you without the mustache! The mini-challenge for the girls this week is to channel their inner “drag MacGuyvers” and craft sporty, fashionable workout attire using this drag queen essential. Ru has the gals break off into 3 pairs and one group of three. Mimi immediately grabs Stacy and Delta for her team. Delta is visibly not happy about this, obviously Mimi has worked his last nerve.
Manila and Carmen are working with neon rolls of tape and are hoping to recreate the style of the late 80s-early 90s. Raja and Yara are also using the bright colors on their shape wear. One note, for a bunch of drag queens, their duct tape skillz are pretty weak! Alexis and Mariah are working on corset/bustier combos in purple and blue (Nicolette thinks these are the most cute. Me too!) India and Shangela are working with green camo tape. Our plus-sized trio isn’t having as much luck as their counterparts. Mimi is crafting what looks to be a pink hefty bag on Delta. Things aren’t fitting and something’s popped. It’s not looking good here.
Ru comes back to judge the gals’ creations. Mariah and Alexis’ ruffled bustiers are really cute – a clever use of the tape. Yara and Raja’s leotards are also attractive, but they don’t share any similar qualities – Raja’s in red and white polka dota and Yara’s in bright stripes. Carmen and Manila’s 80s flashback outfits are really adorable – Nicolette loved the extra touch of the duct tape iPods! Loves it! Shangela and India’s camo-tards are also cute (I especially liked India’s epaulets). Of course, our last trio is kind of a hot mess. They did what they could with the pink tape, but Delta and Stacy are visibly unhappy with their outfits and really don’t even try to sell them to Ru (and we can’t really blame them). Ru picks Carmen and Manila as the winners – which I’m good with (I would have also accepted Mariah and Alexis.) Ru tells the gals they’re now going to get “totally leotarded” and produce their own workout videos. Manila and Carmen are the team captains and get to pick their teammates. Manila picks Raja, Shangela, Mimi, Alexis and Stacy. Carmen gets Delta, Mariah, Yara, India and Of course, Stacy is the last one picked. I kind of felt bad for her. Nicolette really likes Stacy. (“Stacy flies under the radar and she’s so unassuming. I think she might make it to the finals.”) The team captains will assign exercises to their team members and come up with the team’s overall look.
Mimi is trying to help his team by coming up with a title (“Trans-form Yourself: From Flab to Fierce” – which isn’t that bad) and a character for himself (an 85,000 year-old lady – not so crazy about that). Raja’s not having it. At all. Stacy suggests doing a bit with a Shake Weight, to which one of his teammates asks, “”Is that funny?” Obviously, someone has never seen a Shake Weight before. Stacy is feeling like he’s being ignored. I asked Nicolette if she’s been watching Untucked, which comes on after Drag Race (if you’re not watching it, you should!) and she mustered up all of her waning energy to let them have it! “I was watching it last week and it pissed me off! I was so pissed off. Shangela was just causing trouble for no damn reason and I was like, “shut the hell up! You’re nothing but a s**t starter and it’s not being cute.” I brought up Untucked because on it, the recurring theme has been how none of the queens perceive Stacy as a threat. Nicolette weighed in with, “She could possibly fly under the radar, maybe it’s not good that she just gets by but she could sneak up on people. Watch, she’ll get eliminated this week!”
Carmen thinks he’s a great team leader (as he tells his team he wants them to look like a bag of Skittles – for a workout video! That’s what you want to think about when you’re working out – candy.) and then proceeds to shoot down everyone’s suggestions. Yara says Carmen’s being bossy. I’m just happy to be hearing from Yara! Delta, weighing in at 350 pounds, is not at all happy about the prospect of a physical fitness-based challenge. Carmen thinks it’s a shame that Delta has such a lack of self-confidence because “she’s sickening” (I’m still having a problem recognizing this as a compliment!) Manila’s team is going for a somewhat “busted” look featuring “garage doors” (in drag-ese, “busted” means ragged and broke down and “garage doors” means using only one color of eye shadow. Thank you, helpful subtitles!) I asked Nicolette if she’d heard of “garage doors” and she replied, “That’s a new one on me!” Ru comes to check on the gals’ progress and visits with Team Carmen. He asks India if he’s had any experience with the “rubber tug” he’s using for his workout. India hasn’t – he doesn’t even workout or go to the gym. Lucky bitch. Do you work out Nicolette? “No, I do not.” And she looks great too. Damn! I wish I was a drag queen sometimes! Yara’s contribution to the video is something called “esparanche” (or something like that. Girlfriend’s got one thick accent!) Yara is a cute boy too! Delta demonstrates his “shake and bake” for Ru. Seeing a half-dressed drag queen and RuPaul working their Shake Weights is unforgettable – and will probably be the clip they use on The Soup on Friday! Ru exclaims, “I think I’ve lost five pounds already!” I hope not – I mean, have you seen Ru? If he loses five pounds, he could disappear! Manila’s team overhears “Shake and bake” and jump on Stacy to come up with something new. Raja makes it clear that he’d be really disappointed if he were on the bottom because of Stacy.
Ru visits with Team Manila. Manila sounds confident in explaining his “Step and Strap” workout, but, when Ru asks him if he’s actually tried it, Manila comes back with an emphatic “Girl, No!” Not the answer to give RuPaul. Stacy really demonstrated his ability to think on his feet when Ru asked about his “sit and shake” workout – if you don’t have a Shake Weight, a can of soup makes a great substitute. Yay, Stacy! Mimi is going to use her jump rope to get a man, rodeo style. Ru emphasizes “safety first” and cautions Mimi about jumping rope in heels. Shangela is using the “halleloo-lu hoop” (and Kate Gosselin’s old hair) for his workout – and his demonstration cracks Ru up (and even Nicolette conceded that she was quite witty.) Alexis is concerned about all of the funny people on his team because he doesn’t “do” comedy – but proceeds to tell Ru about his plan to combine an upper body stretch with lip gloss application. Ru tells the teams that they’ll have a little extra help in the production of their videos by Miss “Stop the Insanity” herself, Susan Powter! Raja is psyched because she was his fashion inspiration – he dyed his hair white blond to emulate her back in the day.
It’s time to work it out! Team Manila shows up at the studio (and we get a quick glimpse at the Pit Crew – Hey Logo, we need more Pit Crew!) Manila starts her “step and strap” workout and Susan asks him for “more over-the-top, drag queen sexy” and he obliges. Alexis looks positively adorable in her neon workout clothes and ponytails for her workout with the “stretchy thing-a-magiggy” and he is working those fake boobs! Thumbs up from us! For whatever reason, Raja used a deep male voice to do his workout, which involved doing rather inappropriate things to a workout ball (although, he reminded me of a step instructor I had in the 90s, looks, voice and all!) Susan reached into her bag of infomercial tricks and told Shangela to incorporate a “soft camera moment” into his workout (that moment where you look into the camera and softly inform viewers that they really can do it. Hey! That’s why I bought all of your damn books and videos, woman! I feel so…manipulated!) My girl Shangela worked that Halleloo-lu Hoop! (Nicolette: “I’m not much of a Shangela fan, but that was quite fierce.”) Stacy channeled Wendy Williams (“How you doin’?”) and really brought it to this challenge. I was so happy to see her come out of her shell. Mimi adopted a squeaky voice and, as he launched into his jump rope workout, chaos almost immediately ensued. Guys were falling all over the place and getting tangled up. Ru had him start over and he just started jumping rope and screeching like crazy. Mimi just wanted to create a memorable character and he did – but not in a good way.
Team Carmen hit the studio. Carmen (who Nicolette thinks is so pretty) was having issues getting started – he wanted to make an entrance and he wanted the clapboard to get started (but at least we got a peek at the Pit Crew!) What a pro. His “pop a squat” workout was sensual, but Carmen wasn’t making the connection with the camera Ru wanted him to make – he wanted Carmen to connect with her face, not her ass. I don’t have a problem with that. Nicolette thought this team was taking the challenge too literally and seriously. I completely agree. India’s rubber tug workout was a little low energy. (And the white highlighting makeup he used to emphasize his boobs was really distracting – as were Yara’s hilarious technical difficulties with the rubber tug. Yara, by the way, was the funniest, most entertaining exerciser of the bunch – even if you couldn’t understand 90% of what he was saying. He was cracking Ru and Sue up! All I know is I want him to teach an “eschaperante!” class here – it beats the hell out of Zumba! Delta described Yara as “uber Charo” – how perfect! Mariah, although cute as a button, also lacked something in his workout. Delta’s “shake and bake” was also awesome – I’ve never seen a reach around joke in an exercise video. I’d watch more of them if they did, that’s for sure! Delta from worst nightmare to strongest success. Ru wants the gals to come dressed in an outfit spotlighting their favorite body part. And the cherry on top of this runway demo is La Toya Jackson!
The gals are back in the Drag Lab, trying to put together the outfit that shows off their best body part. There’s gonna be a lot of boobs (real and fake) shown off here, I can tell already. Carmen, who asserts he doesn’t want to be known as just “the naked one”, wants to show a “different Carmen” to the judges. Meanwhile, Mimi emphasizes the importance of humor in his drag and Stacy gets a mini-pep talk from Shangela. (Nicolette and I so rarely disagree on anything, but I do love me some Shangela.)
It’s time to hit the runway and doesn’t Ru manage to out do what any of the queens could possibly do the minute he hits the stage. I Love, love LOVE what Ru’s bringing to the runway. I would just love to spend 24 hours with him and grab up as many nuggets of fashion wisdom as I could from him. Ru’s working the 80s big hair/headband combo with a modern twist – a fab pink and black dress. I’m a 40-ish year old woman and I’d look like a kid trying on Mommy’s dresses… so yeah, Ru looks amazing. He introduces us to this week’s judges. In addition to Michelle Visage we are introduced to the latest member of the Drag Race family, makeup superstar Billy B (apparently he’s worked with Lady Gaga…I’m just glad Santino got a day off!) And there’s also Susan Powter and a surprisingly lucid La Toya. Once we’ve met our judges, the gals hit the runway…
Raja is channeling a MILF/cougar at the beach, showing off those legs that go on for days (Nicolette thought Raja showing off the gams was a given but didn’t much like his outfit.) Manila “De Vil” spotlights her fab face in a black and white gown (I love how he pulls his everyday black/blond ‘do into all of his show wigs). I love Stacy’s outfit this week for some reason. It’s nothing special, but I love it (I think his confidence was bolstered after this week’s challenge, which made him more confident on the runway….but that’s just my opinion.) India left very little to the imagination with a lace bodysuit, enormous fakers and a huge red wig. Alexis was a huge, sparkling glitter ball. I heard Nicolette suck in her breath when she got a glimpse at Alexis’ see through flawlessness (“I LOVE that gown! That’s got to be one of her pageant gowns”). Mimi finally was able to bring some glam, and he pulled it off well in a leopard print dress – serving some Bette Midler realness. Shangela pulled a move straight out of the old Cher variety show – whipping off a cloak to reveal a teeny, tiny outfit, showcasing her “shoulders”. Miss Shang needs to keep her titties under wraps though – I’ve seen way too much boy nipple from him this season – it really takes you out if it! Mariah initially looked like the one to beat in her variations of brown ensemble (which on paper, sounds far more drab than it turned out to be), sadly, there was a lot of boob padding and side girdle on display. Delta was straight out of Valley of the Dolls with her late 60s “Priscilla when she married Elvis” hairdo. Nicolette thought she looked like a glammed-up version of Divine. Yara chose a short dress to show off his legs, but failed to see how ill-fitting the top of the dress was. Carmen really brought the class in his full length gown. Nicolette thought Carmen should have put her hair up to spotlight her face – I agree, because that would be very unlike the Carmen we’ve seen so far.
At the judging, Ru pulls Alexis, Stacy, Mimi, India, Yara and Mariah to the front of the stage. No Absoult cocktails for them yet – they’re the best and the worst of the week. Raja, Shangela, Manila, Carmen and Delta are already safe (phew!) The remaining queens face the judges. La Toya loves Alexis’ sparkle – and so does Billy for that mater. Michelle called her video “Puerto Rican Chrissy Snow” (from Three’s Company). I love the reference and that’s why I’m loving Michelle as a judge this season! Mimi got called out for being (gasp) too campy in his video. Mimi defended himself by saying he just wanted to “put the b in subtle” (Mimi, I’m SO using that…) but was slightly disheartened that the judges didn’t agree with her choices. La Toya thinks Stacy is a long, lost member of her family, “the Back Swamp Jackson”. Billy was disturbed that there was too much going on with India (like the huge boobs, the huge red ponytail and the “tarantula” on his va-jay-jay). The judges weren’t nuts about Yara’s dress and Mariah’s video. So, when they got down to deliberation, Fun fact, La Toya never worked out prior to or after making her own workout video! All of the judges agreed Mimi’s act might be played out. They recognized that Stacy was improving and thought Yara was hilarious but her dress needed to be burned. As for Mariah, they didn’t feel he was a great salesperson.
The girls come back. Thankfully, Yara is safe. It’s a day of celebration for Puerto Rico as Alexis was credited with creating a new sensation with the “lip gloss and thing-a-maggigy” workout and wins a gift certificate from gilt.com. Yes, that’s gilt.com! Stacy made it through with the warning that she’s got to work harder to make it on to the next level and Miss Mariah is spared as well. It’s down to India and Mimi, who must lip sync for their lives to the Thelma Houston disco classic “Don’t Leave Me This Way”. Everything starts out normally enough and then Mimi starts an aggressive stage hogging play (he also reveals, after a slight wardrobe struggle, that he was wearing a sparkly mini-dress under his leopard gown. I guess he suspected he was in the bottom two.) The end result of Mimi’s desperation to stay comes when he picks up India and tries to carry him back on stage. Awk-ward. (Nicolette asked “What is going on?”) Did we learn nothing from the first elimination of the season? Well, no surprise, Mimi, who learned the hard lesson that “Drag is not a contact sport!” had to sashay away. Nicolette was sad to see one of her Lips sisters go, but felt the judges made the right decision. Don’t you worry about Mimi, he’s got some great things on the horizon, including his “girl group” XELLE. Check out their new single, “Party Girl” at xellemusic.com! And don’t forget to join us next week for another thrilling “Ru-cap”!
Don’t miss a moment of drag fabulousness! Catch an all-new episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race Monday night at 10pm EST on Logo!