Rudolph Murdered In Virginia!
Sad news, I’m afraid. Beloved red-nosed reindeer Rudolph was apparently involved in a horrific accident in Virginia and the whole scene was caught on tape…
While many speculate that his impalement on a traffic light was a mere accident, I sense foul play. Who were these parade route strategists who forced the giant deer into his death by obstructing the parade route with said light? Or how about the handlers who were chaining Rudolph to the ground as he struggled to clear pole?
Clearly from the crowd’s response in the video, Virginia is in a state of unrest and while no word on whether the National Guard will be called out, the state is taking protective measures in case of a retaliation attack from the North Pole. Mr. and Mrs. Claus could not be reached for comment.