Rosie Fights With Hog Owner

August 13th, 2007 // 8 Comments

So Rosie and her woman were in South Beach. And some guy with a motorcyle gave them a heap of shit because he thought Rosie touched his bike. You know, blogging disaster happens when you meet a celeb and they’re wicked nice. Then you feel a sort of twinge of guilt when you write smack about them. Kinda like when Buffalo Bill refers to Catherine Martin as “it” when he has her in the hole. He has to depersonalize her ass so he can wear her tits later. So what I’ve learned from this is that bloggers operate much like serial killers. It’s been an eye opener! Anyway, Rosie got called a “fucking lesbian” by some douche. She wrote about it in that irritating verse way on her blog.

as i buckled my belt
he ran towards r car
angry
“MY MOTORCYCLE BLAH BLAH !!!”

“chill dude -
we didn’t touch it”
his eyes were wild
stretched open wide

he got madder
pupils big – snorting like a dragon
F*CKING LESBIANS
he screamed

the trump card
always

and we r supposed to cower
to fall 2 r knees ashamed
not good enough
unworthy

not tonight
mr bald muscle man
with a pimped out hog
not tonight

i stood up in the front seat
hands above my head
smiled and yelled
CORRECT SIR – F*CKING LESBIAN!!!

God, I wish she’d just write in the old-fashioned declarative sentence way. See, that’s the worst I can say about her. I’ve lost my f*cking sociopathic tendencies when it comes to this one. Because she had a do-rag on, and she was burly and nice, and took a picture with me. Worst blogger ever. I’m such a slut.

By J. Harvey
  1. Hey Cupcake

    You know, good for her. That was the perfect comeback for that moment.

  2. LoRider

    A more correct title would’ve been “Hog fights with owner”, but that’s just what I would’ve done. It’s so nice having the airwaves back!

    Ride Lo

  3. devil

    Heh, LoRider beat me to that one. Too tempting.

    If Rosie wants to be taken seriously, she needs to write coherently. Her blog looks like its written by just another heroin addict. Ho Hum.

    But, yeah, the motorcycle owner is an idiot.

  4. T-Bone

    Two irrational bullies in one place.

  5. LoRider

    Maybe Rosie should consider heroin. It really seems to work as a diet. Then she wouldn’t be so much of a big fat pain in the ass – she’d be thinner and still a pain in the ass. At least the heroin might kill her, though, and that would make it a good day for everyone!

    Ride Lo

  6. peachpie

    i like her and
    the way she writes
    it should make
    you all stop your
    lives for a second
    to think.
    rather than just absorb.
    good for her.

  7. Logan

    Maybe she did touch his hog.

  8. Lily

    As a straight person who has lesbian friends, I have to wonder who hell Rosie O’Donnell is so flippin’ mad at?! She’s ALWAYS attacking somebody DAILY if they even breathe her way that, God forbid, doesn’t equal her own feelings. We get it Rosie, you’re a proud lesbian. I am happy for her and her partner and their children. Live life and prosper! But for goodness sakes, get thee into therapy and CALM DOWN. How can you teach your own children tolerance if you don’t live it yourself?

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