Rihanna Sets A Record

ELLA ELLA ELLA ELLA ELLA! Shut up, it’s still a good song. You’re sick of it, but you still can’t see shiny cars in the dark! Ella Rihanna’s “Umbrella” has been at #1 in the UK for 10 weeks. This has broken the record previously held by Wet Wet Wet with “Love Is All Around”. Stealing Jay-Z from B-Day has led to some lofty heights!

Rihanna has claimed the longest running number 1 single for over a decade with her “Umbrella” smash hit.

The single- which features her label boss Jay Z- has now topped the charts for an astounding 10 weeks.

I think the era of Beyonce is over. Rihanna didn’t need a safety net of two other broads that she could eventually dump when she was eventually ready to fly solo. Kelly’s so upset that she’s collapsing on stage! And Michelle’s gathering the carts at K-Mart! And besides, Rihanna’s leg isn’t as thick. I like thick legs personally, but America’s got this whole thing about women looking like slender beauty aliens. And Rihanna’s got that down pat.


UPDATE: Oh, and she now has her own line of umbrellas. Help me, Jesus.