‘RHONY’ Finale Part I: The Best And Worst 90 Minutes Of Andy Cohen’s Life

And so, another sun sets on The Real Housewives Of New York City.  Last night’s 90-minute massacre saw no love lost between Cindy Barshop, Kelly Bensimon, Jill Zarin, LuAnn de Lesseps, Ramona Singer, Sonja Morgan and Alex McCord.  Damn it, these bitches are straight-up haters, all in the name of Bravo.  As Andy Cohen teetered between regret an elation, Jill tried mercilessly to get the last word in while Alex’s head spun on its axis.  Meanwhile, Cindy made it perfect clear that she hates EVERYONE, including LuAnn (who tried to give her some helpful advice on when to jump in).

Kelly, who some say has calmed down since last season, still makes no sense.  She is not funny, nor is she “the voice of reason.”  Kelly Bensimon is a condescending, patronizing half-wit who takes no accountability for what she says or does.  Notice how Kelly didn’t apologize for making snide comments about Sonja’s townhouse in Morocco (“It looks like it hasn’t been remodeled since the 1900s”)?  Kelkel just didn’t want to admit that was she said was thoughtless and rude, and so she continued to dig herself a big ole’ hole in which to make sand angels.  Idiot.

Alex has a great vocabulary and I admire that she’s able to articulate her words, but sister’s got crap timing.  Not to mention she really needn’t bother getting into other people’s business.  Just let them duke it and reserve your hives for battles that do matter.  Let them bitches tear the turquoise jewelry off one another’s necks while you sip on chilled wine and pat yourself on the back for another year on the Worst Dressed List.  You deserve it.  That garbage isn’t going to wear itself.

PHOTOS: LuAnn Tries On Long Hair. Meh.

Jill-how tacky of you to inquire as to whether or not Ramona’s husband cheated on her, per the psychic’s reading in Morocco.  A few gum flappers in your social circle believe that Mario strayed?  That, m’dear, is gossip.  You are a gossipy gossipton.  And a bit of a bully, I might add.

Sonja-I still think you’re a nutter and a bit of an elitist, but I found you endearing last night because you seemed sincere in telling your tales of woe.  Also, may I have Brian’s number?

Cindy-This isn’t the place for you.  Go back to being a private citizen and let the crazies drive the ratings boat.  You’re rough around the edges, but you’re a bit too grounded to join this circus.