‘RHOBH’ Recap – Superfun Spa Day At Adrienne’s

Bravo was able to balance the good with the bad on last night’s episode of The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills.  Before we were forced to deal with the aftermath of game night, it was time for a cooking lesson with Lisa Vanderpump.  Be sure to put on your “businesswoman” finest, and come prepared with latex gloves.  One just had their bi-weekly manicure and it shant be ruined by herbs and such.

PHOTOS: Adrienne Maloof And Dr. Paul Nassif Smooch On The Giant Rocking Horse

What’s the point of learning how to cook a chicken when your chef is spying from the pantry, I ask?  #FirstWorldProblems.  And Adrienne, I would have doused that chicken in dish soap, too.  We corporate women just don’t have the time to roast meat.  No, I would not like to sit idly by for the next hour and half while my poultry cooks.  I’ll pick some up at Ralph’s with a side salad, and TAH DAH!  Dinner is served.

Lisa was on fire last night, save for her rude behavior at spa day.  Suggesting that she head back to her own home to get stuffed rather than allowing Adrienne to do it was ever so cheeky.  Brilliant!  And must we even discuss Mohammed, his child fiance and that secret boudoir?  Ugh, come on!  Vanderpump must be indebted to this older gent, for I would like to think that she doesn’t fraternize with Class-A creeps.

Adrienne and I differ on one thing-I would prefer to escape my home and head to a spa, whereas Mama Maloof just wants the spa to come to her.  Agree to disagree.  Although, my spa doesn’t have a fro-yo station.  So….Point = Maloof.

Camille, our very own “country rarely heard from,” must have had her vocal chords partially snipped since last season.  Whether it’s her meds or a low caloric intake, Camille just wants someone to talk to.  “I like to eat a lot,” she told a staffer cleaning the cucumber water filter.  “Trying to gain weight.” My heart aches for you, lonely woman.  When you break that cracker, it’s as if you’re breaking our hearts.

Because she probably feels a certain guilt at calling in sick for game night, Adrienne wanted Kyle, Kim and Brandi to end their feud.  She managed to convince Brandi to apologize for the “crystal meth” comments, but wasn’t as successful with the Richards sisters.  Kim, so emotionally stunted that it’s hard for her to even recite the alphabet, wanted no part of Brandi’s mea culpa.  Kyle agreed to hear Brandi out, but still beat the verbal crap out of her after getting a fairly heartfelt apology.

And Kyle-We all know what crystal meth is.  If you have cable and you watch Dateline, you know what a meth is, dumb ass.

Luckily Andy Cohen gave us a break from Dana this week, but we saw scenes from next week and…we’re not looking forward to it.