Retarded-Sounding Socialite Cozies Up To Lohan In Rehab

June 12th, 2007 // 3 Comments

You’re going to forgive that headline in just a minute. NYC socialite Dori Cooperman had forged a friendship with Lindsay Lohan at Promises Malibu . Cooperman’s in to treat an addiction to prescription pills and booze. She was previously at a rehab in Arizona but left because it (wait for it) “wasn’t cool enough”. Told you you were gonna forgive that headline.

Cooperman “had been talking about going to rehab for a while,” said one of her pals. In April, Cooperman was arrested on forgery and larceny charges for swiping a neighbor’s $4,300 check and depositing it. Under a special probation, her record will be expunged if she keeps her nose clean for two years. Cooperman did not return our call and her lawyer said he was unaware of the rehab stint. But another person in the know said that Cooperman and Lohan were spotted on a gym trip away from the rehab center last week. A friend of Lohan warned, “Dori is trying to worm her way into a friendship with Lindsay and it won’t work.” A rep for Lohan declined comment.

Uh, why won’t it work, friend? Lohan’s a plane crash and is gonna need SOMEONE to buy the drugs after she gets out that isn’t her. And this bitch is obviously still in good graces with Mummy and Daddy if they let her switch rehabs because the first one wasn’t “cool enough”. So the money’s there. Seriously, rehab is turning into “My Super-Sweet Sixteen”. Girls are going to be competing over whose got the more interesting DT’s and whose interior nasal passage has eroded more.

By J. Harvey
  1. Karen

    That’s not a dude?

  2. Cameron

    That’a a man, baby!

  3. silvarga

    Obvious questions:

    What kind of “Socialite” has a neighbor that would miss a $4300 check and would subsequently, publicly press charges.

    What kind of “Socialite” (crackhead or not) needs to i.d. theft except out of boredom? Seriously, what is she, like 3245th on socialiteregister.com?

    pathetic.

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