George Clooney, His Waitress, Among The Big Names On The Oscar Red Carpet This Year

The boredom overpowering the ceremony itself began at the red carpet. Everyone kind of played it safe. The only really effed-up outfit on display was Daniel Day Lewis’ wife, Rebecca Miller. She wore some kind of crazy amulet that looked like it might have gotten torn off the My Little Pony playhouse. And even that wasn’t too over-the-top. Where was a Sally Kirkland in a big rainbow outfit when you needed her?

Clooney and his ladyfriend got the loudest cheers. It was amusing as everyone kept talking about how Palms cocktail waitress Sarah Larson is the luckiest ho in the kingdom for snagging him. Seriously, it’s like people expect her to be carrying around a large cardboard check and appearing on the evening news. Jennifer Garner looked lovely, despite compressed boobies and Gary Busey trying to rape her. Katherine Heigl aged it up, but I think she pulled it off.

Oh, I know an outfit that I hated. Jessica Alba’s stank self in the wine feathers. Ugh, pregnancy is no excuse and it couldn’t have happened to a stanker broad. Heidi Klum was auctioning her red dress off to help the cause for heart disease among ladies and is seriously devoted to her man, Seal. Cameron Diaz literally looked like she had just taken a pull off a j before exiting her car. She looked like the girlfriend in a “Cheech and Chong” movie.

And no one did anything ridic. I think the writer’s strike sucked the life out of people and they were just happy there was a prom this year.

Photos: Getty Images

43 more photos(Sarah Larsen, George Clooney, Ellen Page, Nicole Kidman, Keith Urban, Cash Warren, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner, Heidi Klum, Seal, Cameron Diaz, Colin Farrell, Johnny Depp, Vanessa Paradis, Javier Bardem, Cate Blanchett, Sean Combs, Penelope Cruz and Daniel Day Lewis) from the Academy Awards red carpet are after the jump.

(Hint: right-click with your mouse to open the thumbnails up in a new window or tab.)

Photos: Getty Images