Real Housewives Of Orange County: Quickie

February 18th, 2009 // 8 Comments

The Real Housewives of Orange County season finale opens with Jeana finally going on that birthday date. This is the first date Jeana’s been on since her divorce and it shows. Big time. We got a case of the awkwards when she loudly let Allen (an older, wrinkled “Texas gentleman”) know she’s a “spoiled” and “demanding” harpy. Allen is trying his hardest to be diplomatic and says perhaps Jeana is just “strong-willed.” Keep telling yourself that, Allen.

Vicki’s daughter Briana storms into Vicki’s happy place (her life insurance office, naturally) and drops an atomic bomb — she wants to join the Army. Vicki looks like a deer in headlights as Briana explains her dreams of living out a M*A*S*H episode by going to war-torn countries and working as a nurse on helicopters and whatnot. Vicki is not amused. Later on, Vicki quells any unhappiness about her “baby” entering the combat zone by buying herself a Rolex. She thinks it’s tacky to point out such things, but she’s proud of her watch so she figures what the hell and lets all the ladies know.

Now that Lynn‘s daughter Raquel is 18, Lynn has decided it’s time for her to get some sort of job doing something. Even though Raquel has been loafing around the house for the past year and a half (!), she swears she isn’t lazy. She fills out two online applications a day! Lynn mumbles something about Raquel going to a trade school and Raquel looks at her blankly. Raquel is the master of the blank stare. The conversation ends with Raquel saying “Peace Out” and stomping up the steps. A great way for her to become motivated? Kick her out of the house!

I know this will shock you, but Gretchen‘s sugar daddy boyfriend, Jeff, couldn’t make it to the end of summer Housewife soiree in Laguna. He’s back in the hospital, so Gretchen was forced to attend another social event all by her lonesome. She buys all the girls Coach coin purses. While Jeana and Lynn think this was a lovely gesture, Tamra and Vicki think it’s just a weasely ploy for her to suck up. Jeff buys her a $23, 000 Harley Davidson and of course Tamra is sour grapes on that too (she wanted a Harley and Gretchen knows it). Vicki refuses to even look at the thing because it’s just another excuse for Gretchen to hog the spotlight.

Tamra wins the catty award for this episode. Her husband pulls her aside and tells her he felt a little cheap just giving her Louis Vuitton for her birthday and presents her with a $3, 500 white gold tennis bracelet. Afterward, Tamra proceeds to poke fun at Jeana’s cleavage (jealous!), accuse some faintly George Michael looking character of being gay for wearing white flip-flops, and lastly hissing that Gretchen is nothing more than an overpaid live-in caretaker. Meow!

By Melissa Noble
asl

  1. debbie

    Tamra is probably the most ignorant of the housewives and needs to seriously get over herself. Instead of being jealous she should take some night classes and learn something/anything. She learned how to hold a fork and knife and now maybe she could read a book. Whatever happened to her real estate business? WHen she first came on the show she said she was going to beat Jeanna in home sales…hmmm…whatever happened to that?

    VIcki was correct in not running up to see Gretchen’s motorcycle. Someone who constantly has to be the center of attention grates on your nerves.

  2. Viewer

    That wrinkly old bad dresser from Texas is also putting on a big front. He cheated on every wife he had, and was dating two women when he met Jeana. It’s even questionable if he’s divorced. Sounds like the kind of man that Jeana can be proud to have on her arm!

  3. Viewer

    That wrinkly old bad dresser from Texas is also putting on a big front. He cheated on every wife he had, and was dating two women when he met Jeana. It’s even questionable if he’s divorced. Sounds like the kind of man that Jeana can be proud to have on her arm!

  4. Jack

    Why no mention of the fact that Jeff died? I bet that motorcycle meant even more to her a week later. Tamra is a tacky bitch who knew she wasn’t the new or even the hot housewife anymore. If you wanted a motorcycle so long, maybe you should have gotten one. Instead, she quit her real estate job & judge Lynn for not working. When is Donn going to leave horse-faced Vicki? That was painful to watch — the interaction between them.
    I bet the reunion arguement is Tamra accusing Gretchen of being a high-priced call-girlfriend.

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  7. barbados

    Vicky is her own person and a good mother. How she treats Don is between them.
    Tamra is occasionally warm and likable, but her behavior towards Gretchen screams LOWLIFE!
    Gretchen is beautiful, normal and fun…her detractors are jealous! Jeanna has a sad story, mostly of her own making. Her husband did not ruin her self-esteem, her poor self-esteem allowed her to remain in such a bad marriage for way too long. Lynn seems high most of the time, I’m trying to figure out what she’s on…valium? And my first impression of Alexis was – transvestite! Church going Christians, how delusional! Alexis has no class, and confronting a woman in a social setting for sitting too close to her ugly husband was shocking! To show her insecurities that way, and over him!!! Who’d want him? He must have lots and lots of $$$.

  8. barbados

    Vicky is her own person and a good mother. How she treats Don is between them.
    Tamra is occasionally warm and likable, but her behavior towards Gretchen screams LOWLIFE!
    Gretchen is beautiful, normal and fun…her detractors are jealous! Jeanna has a sad story, mostly of her own making. Her husband did not ruin her self-esteem, her poor self-esteem allowed her to remain in such a bad marriage for way too long. Lynn seems high most of the time, I’m trying to figure out what she’s on…valium? And my first impression of Alexis was – transvestite! Church going Christians, how delusional! Alexis has no class, and confronting a woman in a social setting for sitting too close to her ugly husband was shocking! To show her insecurities that way, and over him!!! Who’d want him? He must have lots and lots of $$$.

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