Real Housewives Of Orange County: Quickie

January 13th, 2009 // 21 Comments

Jeana‘s role in the episode is to stare flabbergasted across the table at Gretchen. They need to utilize her more on this show. Keep reading.

Tamra takes etiquette lessons because her husband is British and plans a 7-course dinner for the ladies to show off her skillz. Yes, it says “skillz” on the invite and tequila has to be incorporated into the meal somehow. Simon wants to help, but unfortunately he’s 50 and wearing a t-shirt from Hot Topic. Tamra tells the chefs she’s always up for a “party in [her] mouth.” In front of her son. Clearly, half the battle right there. Ryan ogles Gretchen. Tamra reveals her plan to get Gretchen (with the dying husband) “naked wasted” to humiliate her. So, clearly, Tamra’s kind of a bitch. She wants to unearth Gretchen’s “dark side.” Buckle up, sister.

Lynne and her jaw of destruction have dinner with hubby Frank. Obviously, Lynne discussed hangover cures with her daughter, Raquel, in Episode 2 because mommy is a hopeless alcoholic. On glass of wine #2 and no menus yet. Cocktail hour in the coatroom? Raquel brags about her car while bowling (the O.C. has bowling?) and assures her friends their lives will totally change. Close-ups reveal them visually salivating. Her friends then get krunk in the bathroom. Meanwhile, at Lynne’s opposite-of-intervention dinner, she notes wine has gone “missing” in the house. She’s so drunk, do you blame the kids? Lynne later advises Raquel not to drink and drive, regaling her with charming tales of a drunken adolescence. Wicked mothering skillz, Lynne.

Gretchen gushes over her sick husband’s kids because SOMEONE had to do the laundry. She feels her life is stalled and everyone is judging her and even cries a little during yoga. Somehow, she’s actually inspiring sympathy on this show. Gretchen attends Tamra’s party, realizing Tamra hates her. But since Gretchen’s emotionally vulnerable, she either DOESN’T care Tamra’s trying to get her drunk, OR doesn’t care. Gretchen moans, groans and acts trampy, getting so trashed, she can’t actually speak English. Not a sturdy drunk like our Lynne. Gretchen beelines for Ryan. “To Be Continued” appears as they mutter sweet nothings behind a wall. If Gretchen gets pregnant, this is the best show on TV right now. 

Vicki is back in Chicago at her brother’s BBQ with people flinging gasoline on huge piles of wood. Vicki’s mom is as nuts as her ferris-wheel-eyed daughter. Mom talks impending death and we see Vicki in a whole new light. Mom buys Vicki’s siblings things, but not her and responds “thank you” when her daughter says she loves her. Mom chugs highballs because everyone knows dealing with Vicki requires copious amounts of booze. Lynne’s family drinks so much because they’re afraid Vicki’s coming over. Vicki goes to Tamra’s dinner party, and is not the elegant lady Tamra is because she yells that she will VOMIT IF SHE EATS OYSTERS! Floating on a wave of classy. Vicki thinks Lynne is always high. No, she’s drunk. Like your mom when she comes home.


Jeana‘s role in the episode is to stare flabbergasted across the
table at Gretchen. They need to utilize her more on this show. Keep
reading.Tamra takes etiquette lessons because her
husband is British and plans a 7-course dinner for the ladies to show
off her skillz. Yes, it says “skillz” on the invite and tequila has to
be incorporated into the meal somehow. Simon wants to help, but
unfortunately he’s 50 and wearing a t-shirt from Hot Topic. Tamra tells
the chefs she’s always up for a “party in [her] mouth.” In front of her
son. Clearly, half the battle right there. Ryan ogles Gretchen. Tamra
reveals her plan to get Gretchen (with the dying husband) “naked
wasted” to humiliate her. So, clearly, Tamra’s kind of a bitch. She
wants to unearth Gretchen’s “dark side.” Buckle up, sister. Lynne
and her jaw of destruction have dinner with hubby Frank. Obviously,
Lynne discussed hangover cures with her daughter, Raquel, in Episode 2
because mommy is a hopeless alcoholic. On glass of wine #2 and no menus
yet. Cocktail hour in the coatroom? Raquel brags about her car while
bowling (the O.C. has bowling?) and assures her friends their lives
will totally change. Close-ups reveal them visually salivating. Her
friends then get krunk in the bathroom. Meanwhile, at Lynne’s
opposite-of-intervention dinner, she notes wine has gone “missing” in
the house. She’s so drunk, do you blame the kids? Lynne later advises
Raquel not to drink and drive, regaling her with charming tales of a
drunken adolescence. Wicked mothering skillz, Lynne.Gretchen gushes
over her sick husband’s kids because SOMEONE had to do the laundry. She
feels her life is stalled and everyone is judging her and even cries a
little during yoga. Somehow, she’s actually inspiring sympathy on this
show. Gretchen attends Tamra’s party, realizing Tamra hates her. But
since Gretchen’s emotionally vulnerable, she either DOESN’T care
Tamra’s trying to get her drunk, OR doesn’t care. Gretchen moans,
groans and acts trampy, getting so trashed, she can’t actually speak
English. Not a sturdy drunk like our Lynne. Gretchen beelines for Ryan.
“To Be Continued” appears as they mutter sweet nothings behind a wall.
If Gretchen gets pregnant, this is the best show on TV right now.  Vicki
is back in Chicago at her brother’s BBQ with people flinging gasoline
on huge piles of wood. Vicki’s mom is as nuts as her ferris-wheel-eyed
daughter. Mom talks impending death and we see Vicki in a whole new
light. Mom buys Vicki’s siblings things, but not her and responds
“thank you” when her daughter says she loves her. Mom chugs highballs
because everyone knows dealing with Vicki requires copious amounts of
booze. Lynne’s family drinks so much because they’re afraid Vicki’s
coming over. Vicki goes to Tamra’s dinner party, and is not the elegant
lady Tamra is because she yells that she will VOMIT IF SHE EATS
OYSTERS! Floating on a wave of classy. Vicki thinks Lynne is always
high. No, she’s drunk. Like your mom when she comes home.

By Lisa Timmons
  1. wickedorchid

    You didn’t get the least bit of a date rape vibe from that whole situation? Watching it made me feel dirty. God forbid some club or bar actually hires Ryan to tend bar – as his move is to overserve woment and try to take advantage of them even when they clearly say no….

  2. suz

    I agree with the date rate vibe. Tamra was setting Gretchen up to be seduced by her son.
    Why not just drug Gretchen and pimp her out to her son.
    Then following her into the bathroom still intending to seduce despite Gretchen saying no.

  3. NJ

    Toads…

    The whole thing was just wrong.

  4. frylock

    This episode was quite sickening, especially Tamra’s little balding son Ryan, the picture-perfect image of a salivating hyena waiting to pounce on its weakened prey. True, Gretchen did choose to imbibe and may not be overly deserving of sympathy, but the overt scheming of the Barney wolves at the dinner party was truly appalling. These are just horrid people, and their true colours came shining through here.

    Oh, and Ryan? 4 words: Hair Club for Men.

  5. angryrebel

    This episode is a touchy subject for me. Someone very dear to my life has been the victim of date rape. To watch the show together, it made me nearly break down as I watched a past-her-prime ugly, wretched person like Tamra conspire with her balding 23 year old dirtbag douche of a son Ryan to get a woman so intoxicated that she would not be able to clear mindedly consent to having sex. Tamra even said “…let’s get her naked wasted.” Watching this seriously made me want to throw up. And I applaud the four posts here so far. We need to spread the word that date rape is a serious and dire crime, according to many studies less than 30% of the crimes are actually reported but over 80% of the victims say they are never the same after the incident.

  6. AL

    Let’s keep in mind that Gretchen is 30 years old. Not some naive teenager (Lynn’s daughter, hello!). She was not forced to drink, she chose to drink, and what 22 year old male would not be salivating over a well-endowed female who is making sexual innuendos at him?

  7. VictoriaM

    Don’t forget that Tamra called her own son a “man whore.” What mothering skillz!

    But seriously, that episode was painful to watch. I felt like I was watching some twisted sorority sister movie!

    Oh Vicki, you’ll vomit if you eat oysters… Surely you’ve had worse in your mouth.

  8. Kristen from MA

    “…that Gretchen is 30 years old…She was not forced to drink, she chose to drink”

    That doesn’t give someone license to rape her. Yes, it’s rape, and apparently you are condoning it.

  9. AL

    @Kristen
    Do not misinterpret my comment. I merely believe women can be responsible for themselves in situations. Give the female population more credit. I do not condone rape in any form, I however do feel a 30 year old woman, previously married and divorced, who was involved with an older man, and is currently on a TELEVISION SHOW ON BRAVO, knows full well what imbibing multiple cocktails and shots of tequila will lead to.

  10. tessam

    Sure, Gretchen is an adult and knew she was letting herself get drunk. BUT, she thought she was in a safe place at a friend’s house, among a small group of friends. She had no reason to think that as her decision making skills diminished that the other people on the room would actually be conspiring to ALLOW the revolting predator spawn to attack her. It was chilling watching these petty, jealous, mean, ugly cows set this trap and wait for her to spring it. It’s one thing to get someone to dress up in an outfit made of meat, it’s another to then let the pitbull into the house. These people disgust me.

  11. AL

    @tessam
    Agreed. However (and I am disgusted to admit this), if you watch the episode closely, you will hear Gretchen in an “interview” segment admit she knows those ladies do not like her. I halfway wondered if she was not purposely coming onto Tamra’s son simply to piss Tamra off. This is a woman who was partying away whilst her beloved was in ICU fighting for his life. I’m sorry, I do not see her as a victim here.

  12. Martiniman

    This particular episode happens to be the first one I’ve seen. While I have just a surface knowledge of the storyline, two things struck me:
    1. Supposed “friends” were pushing large quantities of booze on a woman who’s husband is in the hospital, and has to be feeling some sort of pain, and worse 2. A very creepy son (whoever said DBag had it right) was hovering around her waiting for the kill, with mom saying WTF and looking the other way.

    Sure she knew what she was doing, and doesn’t really win the class act award…but nor does she deserve to have Dennis the Menace with his hand up her skirt!

  13. cosina

    Tamra is disgusting. Her scene when the son got a tattoo was telling and now using him to humiliate this woman is scrapping the bottom of the barrel. Like Gretchen or not she is in a very vulnerable state. Watching person die over a long period of time does things to you. I can understand her wanting to escape the reality now and then. First Tamra condemns her for going to Bass Lake with her family while his kids are there to visit with him and now her joy in using her son to help the girl make a fool of herself is so cruel.

  14. Niks

    What is all this talk about rape?? NO ONE RAPED ANYONE.
    For God’s sake.

  15. frylock

    The show raped my sense of decency and good taste.

    Tamra should get a refund for those etiquette classes…

  16. Lynn

    Watching Vicki fall on her ass was so awesome. Its nice to see someone who thinks she is so wonderful…fall. Too funny. I wonder when she gets to meet her maker if she shows her bank statement, if HE will let her in…..NOT

  17. Laurel

    Hey, does anyone know who designed gretchen’s pink dress?? I love it.
    I can’t find it anywhere, I would love the help. thanks

  18. Lisa says

    Yah, does anyone know where to get Gretchens hot pink dress she wore on the episode “Naked Wasted”?? I have looked all over the net who makes it & where can you buy it??

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  21. Laura

    My daughter would like the Hot Pink Dress that Gretchen is wearing for her prom this year. Does anyone know where to get it – Who is the designer? Please, Please Please.

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