It was all about boobs on the latest episode of ‘Project Runway’. Olivier is deathly afraid of them, the husbands are obsessed with them and the easy going Heidi Klum says, “Hey, Bada Bing!”
First off, since everyone on planet earth cannot stand Joshua M, the producers are making sure to display his egotism at a level 10 and throw it in all of our faces. “Since I have such a beautiful name…” Josh chose the husband named Josh. Shocker. And yes, he did make a simple, black dress. But honestly, were the judges on crack this episode?
“Her breasts are like… ‘ginormous’?” said Olivier.
Olivier does not deal well with actual humans, especially those with ‘double D’s', which he desperately asked the one and only Tim Gunn to decipher. Of all of the people in all the world, Gunn was the last person with an opinion on a woman’s breast size. You can’t write fiction as good as the lines coming out of Olivier’s mouth. “Those boobs to me, are trouble”, “In the end we are left with all these fat people”, and then, Olivier’s request for a “Non-speaking person just doing their job” were absolutely fabulous.
Next up was the ever classy husband Anthony, who really really really likes his wife’s boobs. In reviewing the design with ‘B’-for-boring-Bert, he complained that there wasn’t anything to play with in the cleavage line and then Anthony made to sure to mention, on national television, that he loves motor-boating his wife. “You know the cookie monster? I’m the boobie monster!”
The thing with client challenges is that designers really have to let go of their egos. Anthony Ryan did exactly what his clients wanted and they loved it. So naturally, the judges put him in the bottom two. What pretentious jerks! I thought Anya’s ridiculous one sleeve kimono was in trouble, but the judges loved it. There is just no predicting what they want. Avant garde or wearable, they change their minds when you least expect it. And what was up with Anthony Ryan’s adorable tree trunk, bulky eyeglasses and bloody war wound head band? I can’t even, I love him.
Viktor is kicking so much ass this season and he was totally robbed this episode. He is my predicted winner. He did luck out with the absolute Ivy-League-educated-Hipster-trust-fund-couple of the century though. Challenge or not, he nailed it. Guest judge Malin Akerman had the audacity to say of Bryce’s hot pink, ‘beer’ pocket dress, “It’s like a size 6 wearing a size 8.” You bitch. What is this, ‘The Devil Wears Prada’?
Of course, the judges had to ruin our lives by letting Joshua M be the winner and saying to Bryce as he went to clean up his space and go home, “Who’s gonna make my coffee!??”
I think the title of this episode should have been, ‘What the ‘Project Runway’ judges want’, because they really didn’t care at all what the clients thought. I don’t think Bryce is the only person going to ‘lock themselves up in their room and listen to as much Lady Gaga as they can’. This was a doosey folks.