Prettyboy Fight

August 17th, 2007 // 18 Comments

I say we get a vat of mud, put em’ both in thongs and let em go at it! Yeah, I took it there, it’s Friday. Ryan Phillipe took some time off from being a glistening sex cherub to bitch about Jake Gyllenhaal mackin’ on his lady. Uh dumbass, maybe you shouldn’t have been firing semen bullets at another chick’s vaginal gun range if that was going to be a problem for you. Pretty people can be imbeciles.

“Ryan is pissed about Jake,” a Phillippe insider tells Us Weekly, adding that Phillippe, 32, told Witherspoon, 31, “he didn’t want ‘that guy’ around their kids [son Deacon, 3, and daughter Ava, 7] and then made some crude Brokeback Mountain remark.”

However, a Gyllenspoon source tells Us that “Reese doesn’t have Jake spend the night when the kids are around.” And though the actor may be angry that Witherspoon is moving on, his feelings for Aussie actress Abbie Cornish, 25, are less conflicted.

Sources say that Philllpe is hanging out with Cornish Game Hen, including a walk through the park on August 5. Don’t even tell me he was making fag jokes about Jakey G. I mean, yeah, Jakey G. is obviously no stranger to penis. But if I may get personal here. Way back when I was coming out, Phillipe played the gay teenager on “One Life to Life” and he was struggling with being into man ass. As was I! And I thought, well if the fictional residents of the town of Llanview can still love Billy, then my family and friends can still love me! Which they do, until I speak or drink. But still – how dare he wreck my beautiful coming out story by showing himself as an insecure homophobe as well as a lying ass cheat! Reese and I are gonna need to roll up on him with our fists! Who would ever have thought I would be in shovelmouth Reese’s corner? It’s so Friday.

More Photos of the Family After the Jump

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. whateva

    this picture is so perfect for it too. they look like they are sporting some bone while dirty talking. haha coincidence harvey?

  2. lookwhaticando

    whateva what are you a HO bag or something. you disgusting bag of sh*t

  3. T-Bone

    I love Ryan and am glad he left Reese, I hear he does not like blacks and nor do I. So I love him

  4. 2 Old 4 This

    hmmmmm let me check my calendar

    Oh yes – It’s Hateful Friday!

    How did I miss that? Lighten up trolls

  5. jesse d

    Ahhhhh I can smell the ignorance in the air…
    Jesus. I was being lectured about “dog hating” by a racist pig. Figures.

  6. krystyn

    well, I just wanna say that I remember that story line!!!! LMAO

  7. If they ever did “fight” it would just be hair pulling and slapping!

  8. T-Bone

    2 Old 4 This said:
    hmmmmm let me check my calendar

    Oh yes – It’s Hateful Friday!

    How did I miss that? Lighten up trolls

    ==========================
    Go screw yourself crack head, you are probably a Nig too,

  9. 2 Old 4 This,

    That isn’t the real T-bone. Just a troll trying to start trouble. It’s a runaway from http://www.JustJolie.

    She skipped her meds today.

  10. THE REAL T-BONE

    lookwhaticando — grow the f up or you’re going to get banned from this site for a second or third time.

  11. THE REAL T-BONE

    P.S. Thanks Clarisse;)

  12. Joe Funtime

    Ryan just wants Jake all to himself. We’ve all been there– when our Oscar-winning ex-wife is doing the man of our dreams. It hurts. Hurts.

  13. T-Bone too

    weird conversation on this site

  14. Aeol

    I can’t even be amused by this story. All lame attempts at trying to convince the public Jake G likes to have sex with girls are so 2004.

  15. JJ

    OMG I love Ryan Phillippe.

    I truly believe Reese Witherspoon is a satanic lawn gnome.

  16. g

    Amen! that ryan creature can suck it! he cheated so its curtains to him

  17. Heath

    Jake would much rather go fishing with Ryan then anywhere with Reese Witherspoon.

    Is anyone buying a ticket to Rendition because of this sham?

  18. Zekers

    So is the wild poster from Borneo gone now?
    Anyway…Reese and Ryan certainly made a couple of beautiful children! I hope they find their happy place, where or whoever that may be, for the kids sake.

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