Paris Hilton Is Highly, Highly Stupid

I would think this story was fake, but then I consider the subject. So Paris Hilton is touring South Africa with her cohort in gross, Benji Madden. And as a vapid, spoiled slut of a rich girl is wont to do, she’s looking to buy everything that catches her eye. Including wildlife. I’ve never known a human being that lives up to her caricature more than this biddy. She wanted to buy her own cheetah.

“Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman’s dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, ‘If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?” a source at her hotel told the press.

Did they tell her to go into the cage and see? “Go on, sweetie. Try to cuddle it! It likes that!” This was a missed opportunity for humanity. “Whorish Ostrich Killed In South African Animal Park By Annoyed Cheetah Following His Biological Programming” is a headline that the world needs to see. Even Bindi Irwin would be cheering for the cat.

Here’s the girl with the wild kingdom in her vagina herself scaring Canada. Where’s a Mountie with a rifle when you need one?

Photos: WENN

More photos of Paris Hilton doing some shopping in Canada are after the jump.

(Hint – Right-click on the image thumbnails with your mouse to open them in a new tab or window.)

Photos: WENN