Paris Hilton Is Highly, Highly Stupid

April 8th, 2008 // 3 Comments

I would think this story was fake, but then I consider the subject. So Paris Hilton is touring South Africa with her cohort in gross, Benji Madden. And as a vapid, spoiled slut of a rich girl is wont to do, she’s looking to buy everything that catches her eye. Including wildlife. I’ve never known a human being that lives up to her caricature more than this biddy. She wanted to buy her own cheetah.

“Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman’s dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, ‘If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?” a source at her hotel told the press.

Did they tell her to go into the cage and see? “Go on, sweetie. Try to cuddle it! It likes that!” This was a missed opportunity for humanity. “Whorish Ostrich Killed In South African Animal Park By Annoyed Cheetah Following His Biological Programming” is a headline that the world needs to see. Even Bindi Irwin would be cheering for the cat.

Here’s the girl with the wild kingdom in her vagina herself scaring Canada. Where’s a Mountie with a rifle when you need one?

Photos: WENN

More photos of Paris Hilton doing some shopping in Canada are after the jump.

(Hint – Right-click on the image thumbnails with your mouse to open them in a new tab or window.)

Photos: WENN

By J. Harvey
  1. CJ

    You know, for being mentally challenged, she’s not doing too bad for herself. The world just needs to remember…she’s stupid.

  2. Vinod!

    ok you are a loser
    she was obviously joking with the, will it run away from me bit. she isnt that dumb. and who is to say it wasnt just some random thought she came up with. And i bet if you had the money you’d buy one too, like seriously
    a cheatah is soo cool. i’d buy one, and a giant ranch, and it’d live there and like play, and run. and hunt.
    she can afford it.
    And who knows if its even true.
    stop badgering her you nimrods
    and i’d be sad if she died, cause she is human
    AND!!!!!
    SHE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE AN OSTRICH!!

  3. jrobert

    I agree with Tina Fey.Paris Hilton is unbelievably dumb and not only that but she appears to be proud of how dumb she is.I`m 26 years old and saying this might make me sound about 45 but I think that she sets a horrible example for young girls.She embraces hedonism,frivolity and ignorance.She shuns education(she dropped out of high school and later got her GED(given her background that never had to happen). To think that John McCain would actually put her name in a campaign for the presidency is beyond ridiculous.I thought it was midly amusing that she made a ad of her own mocking John Mcain.I don`t like John McCain,but I respect him.The guy is a Vietnam veteran.
    He survived five years of torture as a POW.If John McCain gives credence to anything a vapid bimbo like Paris Hilton has to say than I would say he definitely doesn`t deserve to be President of the United States Of America.

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