I would think this story was fake, but then I consider the subject. So Paris Hilton is touring South Africa with her cohort in gross, Benji Madden. And as a vapid, spoiled slut of a rich girl is wont to do, she’s looking to buy everything that catches her eye. Including wildlife. I’ve never known a human being that lives up to her caricature more than this biddy. She wanted to buy her own cheetah.
“Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman’s dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, ‘If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?” a source at her hotel told the press.
Did they tell her to go into the cage and see? “Go on, sweetie. Try to cuddle it! It likes that!” This was a missed opportunity for humanity. “Whorish Ostrich Killed In South African Animal Park By Annoyed Cheetah Following His Biological Programming” is a headline that the world needs to see. Even Bindi Irwin would be cheering for the cat.
Here’s the girl with the wild kingdom in her vagina herself scaring Canada. Where’s a Mountie with a rifle when you need one?
More photos of Paris Hilton doing some shopping in Canada are after the jump.
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