Plastic British Chick Spawns

June 29th, 2007 // 7 Comments


Jordan, aka Katie Price, has given birth to a baby girl with orange skin and implants. Cheese people are starting to birth cheese babies. It was inevitable. Color me aghast the other day when Ri-Ri Harvey asked me “who’s that British girl I saw on E! That’s a funny show!” Momma, no! I had to hug myself and rock back and forth, keening.

The model gave birth at 8.49 this morning, with beaming hubby Peter Andre by her side.

The baby, yet to be named, was delivered by caesarean section and weighed 6lb 13ounces.

A spokesperson for the couple said: “Peter Andre and Katie Price are happy to announce the birth of their first daughter.

“They are absolutely over the moon with the new addition to their family and delighted to have a sister for Harvey and Junior – it is a dream come true!

Let’s hope this kid won’t be falling in tubs and getting scalded and experiencing the amount of harm Harvey has. They practically let that kid raise himself! Jordan is much too busy blathering on publicly about whether her gay husband can get it up post-meningitis. They should have a mansion in Newport, and a camp where they educate children about taste and class.

By J. Harvey

  1. Kate

    I read in an interview with Jordan that the baby is going to be called Crystal, which I think is just wrong, wrong, wrong. It is the right of every young woman to be able to pick HER OWN stripper name.

  2. Sarah

    Jordan is beautiful and I’m happy that she and her baby are happy and healthy! Don’t be jealous it’s so ugly!

  3. Sarah

    Jordan is beautiful and I’m happy that she and her baby are happy and healthy! Don’t be jealous it’s so ugly!

  4. Darth Paul

    Congrats and mazal tov, Katie! We need more Jewish kids in the world.

  5. claire booth luce

    These two are disasteriously neglectful, self centered, stupid parents.. The children will probably be taken away into child welfare services in two years, if they don’t die first.

  6. -A

    I’m a new Katie Price and Peter Andrew show addict. The UK one not the USA one. And believe it or not, they are very thoughtful and loving parents, so the comment about Harvey (who has some serious autism and other birth defects going on by the way) was a real low blow. Katie is the type of mom that we should see more of. She actually spends time with her kids and not pawns them off in front of the TV or Babysitters. Aside from the fake tans, they’re cool people.

  7. nisey

    You know shit’s bad when you have to keen.

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