Shaq: The basketball player's bio says it all: "Very quotatious. I perform random acts of shaqness." Shaquille O'Neal's Twitter feed reads like the stream-of-consciousness of someone on a lot of drugs ("Why do they call minneapolis, the twin cities, nobody here looks a like, waaa waaa waaaaaa"). But maybe we're not supposed to understand him. Or his fear of leprechauns. Hey, at least he tells great jokes ("A Rastaman walks n2 a bank & hands the teller a bag of weed. She says 'Sir, what is this 4?' Da Rasta said, 'Mi wan open a joint account!'").