Photographer Charged With Endangerment And Battery

October 10th, 2005 // 23 Comments

A photographer was charged with child endangerment and battery for allegedly striking a 5-year-old child with his camera and shoving another out of the way to take pictures of Reese Witherspoon and her children…The photographer also is charged with battering the 5-year-old’s mother, who is a friend of Witherspoon, and two employees at a Disney theme park, said Anaheim Police Sgt. Rick Martinez. Wallace became angry when the “Legally Blonde” star and her friends declined to be photographed Sept. 2 at Disney’s California Adventure and cursed them, Martinez said.

[Court TV]

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  1. Smart Ian

    Almondine:
    While I recognize that your’s is a thankless job, can I suggest your headlines could be a little more punchy? “Photographer Charged with Endangerment and Battery”? WTF? Where’s the witty wordplay and puns? Why not title this “Story About Reese Witherspoon”? Howza bout a new headline contest?

  2. alexis

    i realize that you are new at this, but this is old news. we need new gossip!

  3. Claudia

    What’s the matter, “Smart” Ian? Did you get up on the wrong side of the trailer today? Suggestion: get your own blog, and title it “A Socialite’s Life, But With Better Headlines When the Regular Person is Away.” How’s that for a title…is it “punchy” enough for you? This is not “America’s Next Top Blog Writer,” and you are not Tyra Banks.

  4. PastyWhite

    If you think you would do so much better then why haven’t you been asked to be temporary blogger?

    You may be bored but I would blame that on your job, or lack of one. Don’t be mean to the help. If you want to offer advice don’t sound like a jackass while doing it.

  5. Smart Ian

    Dear PastyWhite:
    I have a day job that precludes my taking other employment and I have no desire to be a temporary blogger. I also think I would make a better President than George Bush but no one has asked me to take his job either, so I’m not sure I understand your argument. Perhaps you can give me pointers in how to give advice without sounding like a jackass.
    Your best friend,
    Smart Ian

  6. Christine

    Smart Ian, you should entitle your comment section, “Alone and Whiny”. It would intrigue people to see what one does when their entire day is dependant on that of celebrity gossip and blogging. Leave Almondine alone. That diva is doing great for her first day. I would love to see you do better.

  7. Smart Ian

    Christine:
    How do you get the taste of ass out of your mouth?

  8. Christine

    Good question! The taste of your mother’s is still lingering in my mouth. Any tips?

  9. Smart Ian

    So you admit to kissing not only Almondine ass, but my mother’s? How many other women’s asses are you prepared to admit to sodomizing?

  10. Christine

    Almondine’s ass deserves to be kissed and your mother begged for it.

  11. Smart Ian

    I think you have a sad sycophantic compulsion to be liked and curry favor with people you will never meet

  12. Christine

    You mean you aren’t going to be my friend? Oh, how I dreamed of us sitting in front of the computer day in and out just to see what JLo is wearing or what’s going on with those kooky Hilton Sisters! Say it ain’t so Smart Ian. I value your clever wit and so desperately want us to form an alliance! I live alone in a studio with not very much except my laptop, and your right, this is the only way for me to make friends. Your mother told me you were a nice boy and thought we get along great….I guess not.

  13. Smart Ian

    Claudia:
    I think your proposed blog title, while certainly descriptive, is rather wordy and is certainly not “punchy”. Also, I’m not a socialite. In total, I find your suggestion pathetically devoid of useful ideas. I can only conclude you are some form of higher-functioning, well-meaning developmentally disabled teenager. Kudos to you for learning how to type!
    Smart Ian

  14. Smart Ian

    Christine:
    Recognizing your limits should be a very positive step towards your self-actualization. Please, though, I beg you, give up the analingus.

  15. Christine

    Your goal here is to have the last word isn’t it? If you didn’t want to know about my obsession with anal, you shouldn’t have asked in the first place. Now, go ahead and type your last thought for the day, so you can win this comment war…because by all means, you are obvioulsy the king!

  16. King Smart Ian

    I have no need to get in the last word.

  17. Christine

    I see…

  18. STC

    Smart Ian,
    I think to sum up what some people have been typing about you, without getting into your mother or your life, is basically that your criticism is inappropriate as this is Almondines first day on the job. It is most likley not as easy as one thinks to post all day. Sarcastic criticism is really not usefull, but comes off more as whiny. If you are going be so pejorative, why not offer helpful solutions? Otherwise nothing changes.
    Keep it up Almondine!!!!

  19. King Smart Ian

    STC:
    What is this entire blog if not sarcastic criticism? Are you under the impression this is some kind of support network? Do you see anyone on this site offer helpful solutions? I proposed a “Caption This” type headline writing contest which I felt was a helpful solution and I was lambasted for it. Nothing changes when people are afraid to speak up.

  20. Cynthia

    I thought this post was about Reese Witherspoon fighting with a photographer, and next thing I know, Ia m reading about Smart (?) Ian’s Mother’s Ass! WTF?!?

  21. King Smart Ian

    Admittedly its a tangent

  22. mel

    Smart Ian ….

    Marry me?

  23. GSPFL

    Jeez, Reese looks like a fresh-faced chimpanzee enrolled at the London School of Economics.

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