Pete Doherty Has Been Visited By Jesus

June 14th, 2006 // 17 Comments

Somehow, I would have thought that Jesus would have had better things to do than pay a visit to Pete Doherty. Apparently not. We have Jesus to thank for Pete Doherty’s latest visit to rehab. He was visited by Jesus in in a dream, and Pete Doherty is said to now be spending his days praying for redemption. He reportedly wants to be baptised after he leaves the Portugese rehab clininc where he will follow the son of God’s word and “pull himself together and repent his sins”.

A source told Britain’s Daily Star newspaper: “He is considering giving away his money because Jesus said, ‘It would be easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven’.”

Pete Doherty determined to beat addictions [Female First]

UPDATE: A reader just sent us this email:

Just to tell you that I have just drove by Pete Doherty hanging in Lisbon’s drug market (more precisely, Meia-Laranja) among the usual hard drug addicts waiting for the dealer to bring their fix…(I should have picture it)…

Wasn’t he supposed to be in rehab? Good grief!

By Miu von Furstenberg
asl

  1. las

    Somehow I wonder how many days this will last. Probably until Doherty realizes that Jesus doesn’t approve of smack.

    Although my optimistic side (small as it is) hopes that it might drag this wreck out of his grave.

  2. tocutetoscoot

    Tu Tu, that First crap is so played out! Save it for the teen blogs.

    I am sure a lot of additcs are visited by Jesus in their dreams when detoxing! I don’t have much confidence in ole’ Pete, but even though he is a complete psycho addict with no coping skills, I do wish him the best.

  3. Stoney

    Oh for god’s sake. Like this fool even has any money left. His rotting corpse will be found in an alley with a needle stuck in the arm in a month or two. I’m sorry but I don’t think he’ll make it this time or any of the other fifty more times he goes into rehab.

  4. petergabrielfan

    This guy is so gross. The ONLY reason why anyone is even talking about him is because of the Kate Moss thing. Next…

  5. Yo...

    For his sake I do hope the best for him and that he comes out a much better person than he went in.
    A lot of people have changed their ways..

  6. Helen Sparkles

    those with a strong faith are happier
    people and happier people tend not to be addicts.. whatever gets him out of that gutter I say.

  7. fiz

    All Bullshat aside… I wish him the best!! Good Luck and God Bless Pete

  8. Stoney

    Well I have a strong faith that there is no god and I couldn’t be happier, little “Sparkles”!

  9. Mira

    Like I said, I have just seen this guy leaning to a wall in Meia-Laranja (which is a spot where dealers and users hang all day)waiting for something… Just one hour ago

  10. TruJrzyGrl

    He appears as though he is going through “Heroin” withdrawals … What a bloody mess this character is … A disgrace to the British exclusive society.

  11. las

    Stoney, ah, but you have no reason to think that religious people AREN’T happier. You are merely saying that you are happy, but you cannot really be the uppermost limit of happiness (an abstract concept), and so it is entirely possible that religious people in general do have a higher level of happiness than you, even though you are happy.

    Okay, quibbling aside…

    I am SO not surprised that he is already back on the stuff. His conversion lasted all of fifteen minutes, and he’s back to his bloodsquirting creepy ways.

  12. Anyone else think its funny that even when Jesus shows up, all Pete hears is something about needles?

  13. jazz

    He IS giving away his money- to slimeball lawyers

  14. Pete’s so cool. I wish I could hang out with hima nd do all sorts of ridiculous things. I’ve done a ton of coke- so that would surely be on the menu, along with massive amounts of drinking, smoking, and destruction of property. I might even be open to trying new things like H, and beating model’s asses. I think it would be fun. All of you whino’s just need to say, fuckit, and let the guy do whatever he wants. He obviously is prolly not gonna change, so let him be and quit bitching. Shit.

  15. I’m always curious how they know it’s Jesus. I mean, in the Bible there is literally not one word about his appearance. Our images of him are entirely artistic tradition.

    So maybe these people are being visited by the ghosts of oil paintings. That would be my theory.

  16. monica

    Salvation is a gift of God and all we can do is accept it by repenting of our sins and giving our hearts to Him. You may find it hard to believe, but YES Jesus does love Pete regardless of His past and what He has done. And He loves you too!!!! The Lord’s mercy and love endures forever…………..I am so happy for you Pete!!! Jesus has amazing plans for you, your future is bright !! Jesus makes all things beautiful in His time!

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