They Got Pete Doherty

Pete Doherty is allegedly getting into Scientology. I won’t have it. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but go back to the H bomb, Pete. Honestly? It’s way cheaper and you’re probably more lucid when jacking a needle into your arm then when you’re talking about volcano aliens and machines that read your personality.

Pete’s been hanging out with a Scientologist named DJ Nadine. Is this because his ex Kate Moss slurred that she got engaged? He’s allegedly purchased a pile of books on L. Ron Hubbard’s joke monetary gain religion since he started visiting her house once a week.

I’m too worried. I think crack will beat out Xenu anyday. At least with crack you get a high. With Xenu, you get squawked at by Tom Cruise that you’re not doing enough and that you need to spend some time doing calisthenics and thinking about all the mistakes you made in your past lives.