Penguins Humiliated In Santa Suits, Call For Boycott
The Penguin Elite National Group or PENG has filed an injunction against the South Korean amusement park Everland for the caustic and humiliating conditions in which members of the penguin community were forced to perform and have asked all penguins employed at the park to boycott.
Decked out in Santa costumes and some adorned with reindeer antlers – as if that even makes sense, several dozen penguins were chased through the park by children who pointed and laughed. Without fingers, the penguins were incapable of undoing the buttons of the Santa jackets in order to liberate themselves from the holiday, fur-lined shackles of the infamous red suit. “Penguin dignity has been bruised worldwide,” a PENG representative said.
“We finally just got past hearing ‘Nice tux’ jokes…I thought we’d progressed as a community,” one penguin said. So far the South Korean government has not responded to the penguin organization’s request for a formal apology, but that should “come as a surprise to no one,” an esteemed Emper0r penguin noted.