Paula Abdul: Three Martini Thursday

Between the problems she has speaking without slurring and enduring the scrutiny of Simon Cowell’s judgmental nipples, it’s just adding insult to injury that poor Paula Abdul woke up one morning this week with a dead woman on her property.

Staunch Abdul fan Paula Goodspeed reportedly died from a drug overdose in her car just outside the reality TV judge’s home. Goodspeed had unsuccessfully auditioned with American Idol and was obsessed with the reality television star, listing her as “her secret crush” on her MySpace page.

With that, we think Paula Abdul has more than earned the three martinis we’re offering. Just make sure someone else counts the drinks for her, please.