Paula Abdul Is Demanding, Asleep

August 3rd, 2007 // 6 Comments

Paula Abdul is a demanding tyrant, who expects you to make up her face and hair while she’s passed out from drugs and if you’re not done when she gets up – then your ass is in trouble!

A spy says, “There’s a salon chair in her house where she gets her hair and makeup done every day. She’ll sit in it, set an alarm, and then, because she’s on so many painkillers, pass out while her hair and makeup guy gets her ready for the day. When the alarm goes off she’ll wake up, and God forbid the poor guy isn’t done yet. All hell breaks loose.” Abdul’s rep said, “There’s no alarm that I’ve ever seen.”

She’s so crazy that there probably isn’t an alarm. Paula just jerks awake and screams “RING RING RING!” Notice the rep didn’t deny she’s passed out from all the pills. This broad is such a caricature. Nothing could be more gratifying than trying to apply lipstick to an insane and sleeping slack-jawed forty something drooling and snoring in your face. I’d give up make-up and become a plumber if faced with that.

(Splash)

By J. Harvey
  1. hmweis1

    She reminds of one of Cheri O’Teri’s characters from SNL. I can’t remember her name, but I can picture her with lipstick all over her face.

  2. Hhahaha this article is funny as hell J.

    I could totally see Paula jerking awake like that. :-)

    Later,
    Tom

  3. newfgirl

    Wasn’t that Cheri Oteri character an over-medicated pharmacist? Rings a bell, but details are scanty…!

  4. CJ

    That’s very sad, her condition is so painful and life altering that she has to be medicated to get through her days. That breaks my heart.

  5. TishDish

    RING! RING! RING!
    Good night nurse! I laughed so hard I shot Vault out my nose!
    That was too funny! Made my day!

    XOXOXO
    Tish

  6. mdhillison

    Like the poster above, I almost choked on the water I was drinking when I read that. RING RING RING – that is still making me shake with laughter.

    hmweis, you mean Cheri Oteri’s Collette Reardon! Oteri said that was her favorite character to play, maybe they can get her to come back and have that character as Paula’s aunt… or at least have Oteri do Paula in a guest spot.

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