Part Of Her Program Is To Make Sure She’s Crispy

August 16th, 2007 // 18 Comments

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I think we all saw America’s Sweetheart Sandy Bullock in “28 Days” (think rehab, not zombies) and we can all say that there was no such thing as going tanning in rehab! There were sarcastic nurses and quirky but tragic roommates and singing and Viggo Mortensen playing a sex addict ballplayer. But there weren’t trips to the damn tanning salon! Lindsay Lohan surfaced and the cycle begins anew. I guess they let her leave to work on her melanoma. How the hell is she going to tell when one of those freckles gets irregular edges? That could be an all day job for her! She’s currently in rehab at Cirque Lodge in Orem, Utah.

The actress walked around the town yesterday, took in the gorgeous scenery and hit up Beaches Tanning Center before making her way back to the Lodge. We’re told that Lindsay bought a $20 spray-on tan from Beaches, in addition to several more $16 tans. Lindsay was “very nice” to the folks there.

Dude, this chick needs to be in LOCKDOWN. Away from her mom, and flashbulbs and all the trappings of celebrity. There should be no luxury in rehab! Did you know that one of the chicks suing her said that the cops had their guns drawn when they approached her after the Maniac Car Chase 2007? She could have gotten blown away! Remember when L.A. cops weren’t cautious and beat people down and had itchy trigger fingers? I miss those days.

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. Your Mama

    I thought she was scrubbing toilets and doing laundry and that the place was so hardcore. Regardless, you don’t have to worry about her getting skin cancer. Satan doesn’t get cancer so I doubt his vapid, celebutard spawn do either.

  2. S_M_G

    Well she looks very relaxed and fresh. I’m still giving her a break for the fact that she is a child star, has the worst stage parents ever and made a lot of money she has no idea what to do with.

    Hope this rehab works, addiction is an awful thing, especially at that age…

  3. green cardigan

    Is that a ciggie in her hand? I suppose if she stays off the booze and blow, she’s allowed to have one little vice. I hope she sorts herself out there.

    She needs to leave her skin alone too. Enough with the spray on tan and tanning beds. She is a freckly red head. Not the skin for the sun. Embrace the paleness Lindsey.

  4. RiotGrrl

    Deja Vu anyone?

  5. T-Bone

    Lindsay Lohan is a con artist. Beware.

  6. Zekers

    Well, she had great teachers T-Bone! Their honing Allie’s (sp?) skills as we speak.
    …and you’re going to love this-I hold out more hope for Missy Spears than I do for Lohan in the ‘pull-it-together’ department. Britney has people who will be there for her when she finally crashes, I don’t see Lindsay having that same support from her family.

  7. T-Bone

    I agree, Zekers. Plus Brit has more heart. Lindsay is a catty little narcissist. And while I agree that her parents are to blame, I don’t see true recovery on the horizon, unless she completely humbles herself. She’s too aware of how to play the game and manipulate. Brit doesn’t strike me as smart enough to manipulate, which is exactly why she needs good advisors and a darn good lawyer.

  8. stolidog

    Brit Brit cannot, and will not, recover. Mainly because she has no talent. Basically, you watch a total trainwreck with no talent and you have to think “that rides over”. Lohan, on the other hand can, to some degree, act. If she’s pretend humble enough she could have a decent career as a supporting/character actor and, after a dozen supporting cast roles, she may be able to claw her way back to a starring role.

    What’s Brit Brit gonna do? She can’t really sing and she certainly can’t act. If you can’t act, you can’t have a comeback….what’s she gonna do, be a backup singer for the next ten years and then try to step back into the limelight? don’t think so.

  9. T-Bone

    We were actually talking about someone being genuinely capable of “pulling it together”, stolidog, not whether someone could fake it (as you say) and therefore remain in show business. If Britney never does anything again, who gives a rat’s a$$. She has more money than God.

  10. C U Next Tuesday

    Child star? shes been in like 5 movies as a kid. And the years were pretty far spread. Get out of here.

  11. green cardigan

    T-Bone – I think Britney herself would give a rat’s ass if she never did anything again. She is living her ‘comeback’ these days, what with all her ‘interviews’ ‘photo shoots’ and ‘music videos (cough).
    She’s so used to the spotlight that I reckon she can’t be without it. It’s sad really. She is not going to disappear until the paps and public get tired of her.

  12. Vicious Kitty

    bitch is only serious about seducing staff and other recovering addicts. she’s like a kid in a candy store no matter where she is. at the last place she had an affair with a married man and would walk around nude to tempt staff. only thing this broad is addicted to is getting everything she wants…including tanning field trips. shame on Cirque!!

  13. stolidog

    well, either way t-bone, bit bit can’t recover because she’s as dumb as a used toilet brush and she’s completely unrepentant and indifferent to the fact that she’s so far gone on drugs and alcohol.
    at least, (and it is at the very least) Lind-ho is back in rehab, again.

    Lind-ho’s trying (somewhat) brits not trying at all (she doesn’t give a shit)

  14. Zekers

    Someone mentioned in another post that Britney has “entitlement” issues. She probably does have issues with not being the most popular girl on the block anymore…she’s not only lost the only identity she’s really ever known, she is downing alcohol like a champ. I’m starting to think T-Bone may have something…the girl is severely depressed and treats her depression with a depressant-go figure ‘eh?
    Good thing she’s rich, she’s going to need LOT-SO therapy. I still say the kids need to be away from her until she agrees she has a problem and actually works on it though…

  15. Miguelito

    Look at her head closely. It’s Photoshopped. I’m wondering where Vicious Kitty heard that at Wonderland she “walked around nude to tempt staff.” That sounds pretty fantastical.

  16. Ednonymous

    I find it amazing how she keeps finding these fake ‘rehabs’.

  17. AW!

    Looks like she’s starting the cycle all over again. I thought Cirque was a tough rehab place. Apparently not, if she’s smoking, taking walks and tanning.

  18. Kayla

    You people need to leave Britney alone. Lindsay is the one who is a liar, whore, and act or not she is just as messed up as Britney or worse. Britney is Britney and can and will make a comeback. Miss Blohan needs to stay away from her parents, nightclubs, moviemaking and all she lives for if she wants to keep living.

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