Part Of Her Program Is To Make Sure She’s Crispy

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I think we all saw America’s Sweetheart Sandy Bullock in “28 Days” (think rehab, not zombies) and we can all say that there was no such thing as going tanning in rehab! There were sarcastic nurses and quirky but tragic roommates and singing and Viggo Mortensen playing a sex addict ballplayer. But there weren’t trips to the damn tanning salon! Lindsay Lohan surfaced and the cycle begins anew. I guess they let her leave to work on her melanoma. How the hell is she going to tell when one of those freckles gets irregular edges? That could be an all day job for her! She’s currently in rehab at Cirque Lodge in Orem, Utah.

The actress walked around the town yesterday, took in the gorgeous scenery and hit up Beaches Tanning Center before making her way back to the Lodge. We’re told that Lindsay bought a $20 spray-on tan from Beaches, in addition to several more $16 tans. Lindsay was “very nice” to the folks there.

Dude, this chick needs to be in LOCKDOWN. Away from her mom, and flashbulbs and all the trappings of celebrity. There should be no luxury in rehab! Did you know that one of the chicks suing her said that the cops had their guns drawn when they approached her after the Maniac Car Chase 2007? She could have gotten blown away! Remember when L.A. cops weren’t cautious and beat people down and had itchy trigger fingers? I miss those days.