Paris Hilton’s Swedish/Humanoid Boyfriend Says She’s Down to Earth

September 25th, 2007 // 8 Comments


OK, first of all, he’s so clearly not even a real human being. Look at that perfectly-chiseled, expressionless face of his. Paris Hilton has finally just broken down and bought herself a beautiful robot boyfriend. And because the voice recognition technology is a bit behind, she’s telling everyone that he’s some Swedish guy named Alexander von Zweigbergk Väggö, to try and limit direct communication with him. It’s oh-so-obvious. Now, she’s been pulling the string on his back and actually has him spouting such nonsense like how her family is “kind, normal and ordinary.” He’s even saying that Hilton surprised him with her sparkling personality when they first met, as he was introduced to her during his vacation from being a pizza delivery guy, backpacking through Los Angeles.

“I had a totally different picture of her before that. I was impressed she was so focused. I love to be in her company.”

See? That’s how we know he’s a fake. Focused on what? That makes no sense whatsoever. He must be destroyed.


More photos of Paris Hilton are after the jump.


By Lisa Timmons

  1. Zekers

    “I love to be in her company.” That’s enough to convince me that something is wrong with him!

  2. Japaengo

    I need to get me one of these humanoid thingies…I wonder how much she is paying for it?

  3. 2 Old 4 This

    I’ll take an Alexander 9000, too!

    Can he be programmed to vacuum, fold laundry & buy groceries?

  4. Jelly

    don’t fall for the ‘sparkling personality’ its a ruse and you will be taking home a dose of the herpes. don’t fall for it swedish guy, don’t fall for it…..!!

  5. James

    First off, not her boyfriend. Second, he’s gay. Third, he’s a model at Nous Models where Paris is represented too.

  6. christina

    Umm couldnt find him on Nous Models, btw. Although I did find Clay from Newport Harbor! Paris probably bought him while on one of her many trips to Europe. As a side note, how the hell does she land these hotties, with her wonk eye and overall unattractiveness?

  7. måns

    James, you’re full of shit. I am Swedish and live in Gothenburg city which he did as well before he went to the States. I know who this guy is, I went to the same school as he did. He used to play for a local football (or soccer as you stupid Americans call it) team. And he’s not gay, so just fuck off with your bullshit. Get soemthing better to do than go over the internet spreading lies like that. Jackass…

  8. He looks evil, and like a sex addict, and creepy, and just plain *shiver*…. THEY FIT PERFECTLY!!!

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