Paris Hilton Issues a Statement

June 10th, 2007 // 12 Comments


Paris is not going to be appealing her sentence – she’s sticking it out people! It’s looking as if the PR machine has been turned on, and watch out for her return to society. It’s going to be like nothing we’ve seen before.

“Today I told my attorneys not to appeal the judge’s decision. While I greatly appreciate the Sheriff’s concern for my health and welfare, after meeting with doctors I intend to serve my time as ordered by the judge.

This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. During the past several days, I have had a lot of time to reflect and have already learned a bitter, but important lesson from this experience.

As I have said before, I hope others will learn from my mistake. I have also had time to read the mail from my fans. I very much appreciate all of their good wishes and hope they will keep their letters coming.

I must also say that I was shocked to see all of the attention devoted to the amount of time I would spend in jail for what I had done by the media, public and city officials. I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things, like the men and women serving our country in Iraq, Afghanistan and other places around the world.”

What a brave little soul.

By Jessica Marx

  1. well, it’s like having your daughter join her 8 yr. old all star softball team….paris is in for the committed long haul! She will be humbled….wonder if she can receive packages in jail….like gourmet goodies from gourmet market in newport beach, ca. i should send her some!


  2. Jacob

    sure Paris I am sure that is what you said with no intervention from anyone else with half a brain. Nice touch about the war. I am sure you are sincere about that (rolleyes).

  3. Laura

    OK, you and I know that she can’t think in a straight line, let alone write a letter. I mean… if she was capable of expressing herself so correctly, why does she always sound like a moron with just one braincell? Oh, wait! Maybe she’s a great actress after all and when she sounds like a retard she is actually playing her character! Bravo!

  4. Yes Way

    LOL. Yeah Paris wrote ANY of that. That’s what she hires a publicist for. I’m pretty sure she couldn’t give a rat’s ass for anyone in Iraq and is still shrieking in the psych ward as we speak wondering how she’ll survive a whole six weeks without her color contact lenses and a stylist. Suck it up girl and get on with it.

  5. elizabethmc said:
    “… wonder if she can receive packages in jail….like gourmet goodies from gourmet market in newport beach, ca. i should send her some!
    Yes there is Liz: Paris Prison Gift Registrar
    But now you have to change the address to send:
    Paris Whitney Hilton c/-
    Twin Towers Correctional Facility 450 Bauchet Street, Los Angeles, CA 90012

  6. Bob

    I read an article this morning which left me suspicious, wondering whether Paris Hilton’s incarceration hoopla is actually part of a brilliant publicity stunt orchestrated by her father and others in the Hilton Hotels empire.

    Published Thursday in USA TODAY under the headline, Jailhouses rock as overnight lodging, the article opens with the question, “Is going to jail cool?” — an obvious reference to Paris Hilton’s headline-grabbing in-and-out stints at the Los Angeles County Jail. The answer to the question came in the form of a pithy piece introducing readers to a trendy new adventure known as jailhouse lodging.

    I didn’t make it past the article’s lead paragraph before THE question popped into my mind:

    Could it be that the Hilton family is planning to buy the Los Angeles County detention center known as the Twin Towers, rename it The Paris Hilton and convert it into a trendy new jailhouse hotel?

    Certainly, it’s not beyond anyone’s imagination in today’s “Top This!” environment that The Paris Hilton would serve as the flagship property of a new jail-house arm of the worldwide lodging chain.

    The lockup’s cafeteria could be converted into a chic night spot. The medical/psychiatric section could become a posh celebrity rehab center for folks like Britney Spears, Mel Gibson, Lindsay Lohan and other so-called “Hollywood stars” to get away from it all after having “one too many” in public. In reality, the possibilities for expansion are endless as cash-strapped city, county and state governments face growing prison populations that require new and improved facilities, the likes of which Hilton money could surely buy!

    Keep your eyes on this one folks…and, remember, you read about it first at Bob McCarty Writes(TM)

  7. bdayguurl

    Whomever in her camp wrote that should be fired. What a vague, empty diatribe. “I have learned a bitter, important lesson from this experience”? And what might that lesson be, sweetie? It doesn’t even acknowledge the “what” Paris has done. Had she said, “I have learned not to drink and drive, and to respect and follow the law” then I *might* be a little more sympathetic. She should admit she flouted the law by driving drunk, and then AGAIN by driving with a suspended license, and then again by trying to bribe a sheriff to get an early release.

    And why is she “shocked” by all this attention to her ordeal? She wasn’t re-directing the cameras toward Iraq when she was walking all those red carpets. Oh, you only want fame and paparazzi around when you are looking “hot” (or when you call and tell them you are going to Kitson), don’t you?

    Stupid, spoiled whore…

  8. I did as little post on Paris Hilton today….some fresh satire. Stop by and say hi.

  9. eseu

    Paris gives the impression that she was somehow “victimised” because of the harsh insistence by people that she should respect the Law and serve her term. What a way of distraction. It is childish and stupid.

    Paris, you break the Law and you are to pay for it. Get that into your fucking head and keep your mouth shut.

  10. Jo

    You mean to say that she’s aware that there’s even things going on in Iraq and Afghanistan?


  11. green cardigan

    You mean to say, that she knows that Afghanistan is a country?

  12. dixel

    You mean to say her PR camp really thinks she’s litterate enough to pull this “heartfelt statement” off?

    If they had written something more along the lines of

    “I’m like totally embarrassed that I tried to get out early, and like, you know I really needed a fix. And I was having like a totally gnarly outbreak, you know, down there. It was rillley itchy… But then the hallucinations hit, and like I totally realized this was my last chanced to elevate myself from stupid spoiled whore, to like, vaguely pointless slag. And like that was a step up, you know?
    So I totally had my personal plastic surgeon sugically graft a percodan drip in my stomach, so like I could just , like, you know, not care about it so much? So like, I’m totally fine with being down for my crimes and stuff. I listen to rap, so like this is really totally no biggie. What up nigga bitches!?! Holla! The drugs help though…

    Oh yeah.. and uh, Yeay American Soldier Dudes, you’re hot!”

    What a tard.

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