Paris Hilton Gets Fingered

May 26th, 2005 // 12 Comments

Paris was out in London at the club Kabaret’s Prophecy and she proceeded to shove her hands down her underwear all evening long. It seems she’s missing her boyfriend Paris Latsis, which led to the public fingering.

Let’s just say, the bouncers had to ask the hotel heiress to stop fiddling with her knickers and touching herself.”She was dancing on the sofas and on the table her mates were sitting at. Paris is a very sexy dancer and was lifting her dress up. But she kept putting her hands down her knickers. “And let’s just say she looked like she was enjoying her own company.

“It was in front of all the other clubbers, including Kid Rock and Maxi Jazz from Faithless. In the end, the bouncers had a word with her and told her to tone it down. “It was an extraordinary show. It’s not the kind of behaviour you see in there… Apart from the time Calum Best and Lizzie Jagger got a bit too pally with each other by the doors.” Paris and her pals were certainly in high spirits – they put away almost £2,000 of booze at the club, including two bottles of vintage Dom Perignon and three bottles of vodka.

Scarily, Paris’s antics in her pants didn’t bother the other clubbers – although her behaviour with the DJ brought the place to a standstill. We hear, “Paris has recorded a single called Screwed and she carries it around to all the bars, so that she can get it played. She begged the DJ at Kabaret to play it and he did. But it cleared the dancefloor.”

Look for Paris to be clearing dancefloors stateside soon.

Paris is Feeling Touchy [3am]

By Miu von Furstenberg

  1. belou

    I’m not too suprised by this, the girl obviously loves herself, you can tell by the way she always poses and checks herself out…I’m not suprised one bit…

  2. doofus

    I gotta go with South Park on this one.


    why won’t she just go away?!

  3. Mariana

    Public masturbation. The woman is a GENIUS!!!! What WILL she think of next to get her name in the papers?

  4. Rob

    Hopefully she wont start inserting things in public…all that money and not an ounce of class!

  5. jellybean

    sexy dancer? give me a break…anyone ever see paris dance? funny yes, sexy HELL NO!

  6. seamus

    Now I’m a pretty mellow and I don’t normally promote violence. But if anyone ever sees Paris in a club just uppercut her. Not one of those weak, taps on the chin..I’m talking strong right hand to the jaw…the kind where the person flies up 15 feet in the air then lands on a table which just happens to have a bowl of fruit punch on it. After that look at everyone and say in your best gansta voice” Yeah I did it!!” You will become an overnight sensation,you’ll be a guest on every talk show. Think about it…..think about your future ..hehehehehe

  7. DieParisDie

    tick tick tick

    is the 15 mintues of fame ’bout over?

    gah, she’s horrible. she’s completely in love with herself.


  8. lu

    seamus you genius.

  9. She’s Klassy with a capitol K.

  10. Buntcake


    Even for her, that’s completely absurd.

    That girl needs love…the platonic kind.

  11. medea

    in the words of “The Laugh Whore”, what the hell does she do?

    Not a singer, or an actress.

  12. shriyash

    indeed , what the hell does she really do?!!
    but that aside, i just want to see more sex videos starring her. hey atleast im honest.

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