I guess technically, she’s in “jail” but I wanted to keep my p-words on a roll, so bear with me. It sounds like Paris Hilton is making out like Homecoming Queen in the slammer. Since her arrival at the Century Regional Detention Center, her fellow inmates have been enjoying some unexpected perks, according to Teen Hollywood. 35-year-old Soraya Lopez claims that her release from the facility is a direct result of Hilton’s presence and she couldn’t be happier.
“The whole facility is benefiting from her — we all thank her,” said Lopez. “She’s the talk of the jail — I’d call her the top dog. People are getting fed more and inmates like me are being let out sooner because they don’t want people around her.”
Well, look at her, making friends and stuff. Soon, she’ll have to rearrange her top eight. In addition to her status as “top dog,” Paris also enjoyed a visit from her sister, Nicky, and Nicky’s boyfriend, David Katzenberg on Sunday. TMZ is speculating that the little red package left behind by Nicky with guards could be a bribe, but I’m feeling doubtful. Don’t those usually come in brown sacks with giant dollar bills on the side? I’m sorry, is it painfully apparent how much of my life’s context comes from Saturday morning cartoons?