Paris Hilton Employs Armed Gunmen To Scare Children Into Embracing Her

This is a travesty. I’d rather see more people urging me to “wonder if she’s happy being single? I saw her profile on FUCKING RETARDED SPAMMER.COM and I couldn’t believe it!” Paris Hilton is in South Africa, outdiseasing the AIDS epidemic.

Here she is terrifying schoolchildren from the Jakaranda Kinder Huis school in Pretoria. Don’t get all misty-eyed. She’s there to make sure her boyfriend Benji Madden isn’t getting any strange. His band Good Charlotte is playing at the My Coke Fest this weekend.

Either little kids are forgiving, or that little cutie doesn’t know Paris is a racist hick.

I’m going to show my ignorance, and I know it’s civilized but can’t some kind of safari animal attack her ass? I hear hippos are really vicious. Someone toss that dumb hat into the river, maybe she’ll go after it.

More photos of Paris Hilton in South Africa are after the jump.

Photos: Monsters & Critics