Paris Hilton Might Have A New Sex Tape, And I Might Be Into Dudes

Here’s a shocker. Paris Hilton might have another sex tape floating around out there. You too can cause your DVD player or laptop to actually shoot Linda Blair-esque vomit out of it by viewing this masterpiece. In the tape, Paris is reportedly bathing herself (about time) and joking about her previous sex tape efforts. There’s not enough soap in the world to get that triangular mystery anywhere close to clean. You’d need one of those power washers and some weapons-grade plutonium. The tape allegedly came from the treasure trove that we know as the storage locker that her dumbass forgot to pay for. If she had a baby, it totally would have been left in there and hopefully been adopted by the kindly storage facility keeper. Ok, he’s not exactly kindly because he sold all her shit the second her payment was late but at least we know he’s got a keen business acumen and a sense of humor.

Photos: WENN

See more photos of Paris in Shanghai after the jump.