Paris Has Friends?

People has bullshit quotes from Paris’ “friends” detailing how rough it is for her because she’s going to jail. I thought her and Kim Kardashian were on the outs? Anyway, they’re saying Paris feels that some of her friends have abandoned her because of her new soon-to-be convict status. I think she should just tattoo a teardrop under her eye and be done with it.

Caroline D’Amore (is she a stripper?):

“We had a little party at her house the other night so we were all around her to be there for her,” childhood friend Caroline D’Amore told PEOPLE at Wednesday’s Los Angeles opening of the flagship Diesel store on Melrose Place. D’Amore added that, at the Memorial Day barbecue hosted by pal Nicole Richie, “We all watched the first episode of the new season of The Simple Life, which was really cute.”


So did they just turn the volume up on the TV when Mischa Barton was rolling around, high on PCP and screaming she was dying? Did she roll into the bowl of popcorn causing them to finally call 911? Keep reading for what other friends of Paris had to say.

An unnamed source cried us a river:

Still, another Hilton pal says the heiress is dreading jail time. “She breaks down crying a lot because she just can’t deal with the reality and pressure of everything that is happening,” the source told PEOPLE, adding that some friends have not been so supportive: “She really can’t take how most people around her have scattered and distanced themselves.”

Well, sure – she can’t get the good drugs anymore now that everyone’s watching her ass. Duh. Kim Kardashian had this to say:

“[Paris] is a smart girl and will be okay. It’s all about learning from her experiences.”

And then she cracked up and was “Have fun in jail, bitch!”. You know she hates her.