Paris Hilton Takes Job At Zoo To Make Up For Lost Inheiritance

December 27th, 2007 // 6 Comments

Hah! Bitch ain’t getting’ nothing! Oh happy day! Hopefully that bird’s telling her to stop sleeping with all those guys because looking like you got spinkicked down there isn’t cute. The good news is that Paris Hilton’s billionaire grandfather Barron has revealed that he plans to donate 97% of his 2.3 billion dollar fortune to charity upon his death. Cue Paris crying like she did in the back of that cop car, except for real this time. His fortune includes the 1.2 billion he just got from selling the Hilton Hotel corporation and the impending sale of the world’s biggest casino company, Harrah’s Inc. When Barron kicks, the money will go into a charitable trust that will benefit the Conrad Hilton foundation. Conrad was Barron’s dad and started the empire in 1919 with a small hotel in Texas. Anyway, the point is that Paris wasn’t immediately available for comment because bitch is wondering how much pole dancing classes cost because she’s going to have to make some scratch somehow. Oh please God, let her have to live in a basement apartment where her only view is the dumpster.

Photos: Pacific Coast News Online

More photos of Paris Hilton and her sister Nicky Hilton on vacation in Hawaii are after the jump.

(Hint: right-click with your mouse to open the thumbnails up in a new window or tab.)

Photos: Pacific Coast News Online

By J. Harvey

  1. Persistent Cat

    Why oh why couldn’t she have been mauled by that tiger?

    The funny thing is, the grandfather (or father) of the grandfather tried to do the same thing, donate all his $$$ to charity however Barron contested the will and ended up getting half. I guarantee you the same thing happens in this case.

  2. griffin

    Eh, even if she only gets 1% of his fortune she is still set for life.

    I am guessing when her parents die, theres some more cha-ching right there.

    They would totally have to cut her out if we are ever to be free of her … if the sex tape & arrest didnt do, I doubt that it will ever happen.

  3. StillJaded

    That 3% is still $690 million so they’ll still be sobbing their way to the bank. This is why we should be taxing rich people more. . . ultimately, we’re the ones staying at their douche-y hotels anyway.

  4. Badatmath

    Ok, maybe it was $69 million or whatever. I’m bad at math. I was never taught to count higher than a million.

  5. Zelda F.

    Wouldn’t it be something to see Paris shoveling hippo poo at a zoo? I’ll be we could raise a few million just to make THAT happen!!!

  6. hoolio

    RdHA0M hi! hooli?

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