Paris Hilton Takes Job At Zoo To Make Up For Lost Inheiritance

Hah! Bitch ain’t getting’ nothing! Oh happy day! Hopefully that bird’s telling her to stop sleeping with all those guys because looking like you got spinkicked down there isn’t cute. The good news is that Paris Hilton’s billionaire grandfather Barron has revealed that he plans to donate 97% of his 2.3 billion dollar fortune to charity upon his death. Cue Paris crying like she did in the back of that cop car, except for real this time. His fortune includes the 1.2 billion he just got from selling the Hilton Hotel corporation and the impending sale of the world’s biggest casino company, Harrah’s Inc. When Barron kicks, the money will go into a charitable trust that will benefit the Conrad Hilton foundation. Conrad was Barron’s dad and started the empire in 1919 with a small hotel in Texas. Anyway, the point is that Paris wasn’t immediately available for comment because bitch is wondering how much pole dancing classes cost because she’s going to have to make some scratch somehow. Oh please God, let her have to live in a basement apartment where her only view is the dumpster.

Photos: Pacific Coast News Online

More photos of Paris Hilton and her sister Nicky Hilton on vacation in Hawaii are after the jump.

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Photos: Pacific Coast News Online