Paris Calls The Double Wedding Off

Whorish ostrich Paris Hilton has denied reports that she is planning some kind of terrible Brady Brides double wedding mess with her boyfriend Benji Madden and her best friend and Benji’s brother Nicole Richie and Joel Madden. Can you imagine all the douche at that affair? One wedding cake bomb and we’d have to shut this site down. Let me weigh the pros and cons.

Paris said no to the rumors of the double wedding, but added that she and Benji are “really happy right now” at the Belvedere Vodka “Jagger Dagger” party Monday night. They just returned from a Good Charlotte world tour in which Paris busted her face in Prague and tried to buy a cheetah. They are celebrating their two-month anniversary.

“It’s great,” she said. “I think the way it works so well is that we’re best friends and we totally trust each other and we’re in love and we have an amazing time together,” she says about their relationship.

Best friends? You’ve been slapping and tickling for two months! Best friends? You won’t be ignored, Dan? The homelier Madden brother better watch his ass. There’s no telling how deep that cavernous vagina goes. He could get stuck and never return to civilization.

Or it could be some The Ruins-type shit and the natives won’t let him out so he can infect the rest of the populace. Good plan.


More photos of Paris Hilton and Benji Madden out and about are after the jump.