Paris Hilton Threatening Us All

May 22nd, 2008 // 2 Comments

They need to put some sort of birth control in the LA water supply to prevent this terror from ever happening. Paris Hilton says she’s shooting for a baby in 2009. I apologize to anyone trying to get pregnant in the Los Angeles area, but this is a national health issue. A baby is not going to come out of that woman. It’s going to be a giant STD blob which will eat cities.

Paris Hilton told Heat magazine that she’s so in love with her boyfriend Igor, I mean Benji Madden, that she plans to have his baby. Oh jesus no. They’ve been dating for three months.

“I do want a baby. Pretty soon. Not yet because I’m so busy, but next year,” she says.

Benji’s brother Joel just had a baby with his girlfriend and Paris’ best friend, Nicole Richie. If this is some sort of keeping up with the Jones type thing, we need to file an injunction against this stupidity. Now.

Photos: WENN

See more photos of wannabe mommy Paris Hilton after the jump.

Photos: WENN

By J. Harvey

  1. DrunKen LauRen

    j, give this a thought… becoming a mom can really give Paris a reality check….

    she has been a bit decent since w/Benji.

    I’ve witness woman transform to actually normal people after having a baby….

    lets see how your girl, Alba does…. we’ve actually witness a smile since w/child.

    lets give Paris the benefit of da doubt….

    but then there is J.Lo… this girl is so into herself, da twins didn’t even faze her…

    nicole, she’s been more of a mom and stayed home w/her little one somewhat….

    love you lots your girl, DL

  2. Dan

    Wish Lee Harvey Oswald were still alive…hm

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