Paris Hilton Is A Muse

April 30th, 2008 // 1 Comment

Paris Hilton is all excited because boyfriend Benji Madden wrote a song about her. It’s called “Damn, What’s Up With Her Eye?” I hope they get Brooke White to sing it. It’s already going to be good and terrible, why not just cap it off by having that wackjob stand and bob her head and grimace for your love while yowling it?

“He actually wrote me a beautiful song, and actually recorded it in the studio,” Paris said on Monday. “He surprised me with it. It’s called, ‘Shine Your Light.’ It’s this really beautiful love song about me. It was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me.”

And she was in a huge hurry to tell the world about it. I love “it’s a really beautiful song about me.” Can those two things go together? He should have just dedicated Millie Jackson’s “Muffle That Fart” to her during karaoke or something. Or maybe “Suck A Caribou’s Ass” by Wesley Willis. That’s about right. Both are way more powerful and beautiful than anything Igor wrote for this trollop.

Paris also says that Benji is her best friend, and she trusts him, and blah blah blah he doesn’t mind that I’m on the Valtrex. Here’s some footage of Paris holding a baby. Do the parents know about this?

11 more photos of Paris Hilton and Benji Madden at Prego Italian restaurant in Beverly Hills are after the jump.

Photos: WENN

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. J

    You are on a roll, J Harvey. Heeelarious!!!

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