UPDATE: Photo of Gwyneth Paltrow leaving the hospital yesterday morning.
So Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband, Coldplay front guy Chris Martin, rolled into Mount Sinai Medical Center on Monday looking troubled. Witnesses say she was in a wheelchair, Chris was driving and they were headed for the maternity wing. Uh oh. Jesus Christ, is EVERYONE knocked up? This sounds terrible but it feels like there’s barely enough oxygen as it is and this biological compulsion people have to breed is making me have to stand up on the subway too much. And I’m fat and need to siddown! Damn, use birth control and travel! See the world. Wait on the kids for a little while. This isn’t “Children of Men”! You’ll be able to get knocked up in ten years. Oh right, Gwynie. Anyway, her rep says that she’s home now and “fine”. Of course, he wouldn’t confirm if she was pregnant or not and if there were complications. He referred to those kind of questions as “guesswork at best”. Dude, you aren’t the algebra teacher, fess’ up. Gwyneth and Chris have two kids, Apple and Moses (no really), and Gwyneth has been said she’d like two more. Despite my pleas for population control, I hope Gwyneth is ok and has a successful pregnancy if that’s what this is. We need more people like her. Chilly and hating America. That’s always fun at a dinner party.
Photos: Bauer-Griffin Online