Observations of an Obsessive Compulsive TV Aficionado

The Bad Girls Club
There is a show on Oxygen called “The Bad Girls Club” where the premise is “girls who lie, cheat and flirt their way out of trouble and have serious trust issues with other women.” Now, I’m thinking that if you are lying, cheating and flirting your way out of trouble, you are pretty much guaranteed to have trust issues with everyone since you yourself are a pretty untrustworthy and a horrible person, but perhaps I am overstating the obvious.

The problem that I have with this show is that these girls just aren’t bad enough. When I think of a Bad girl (with a capital B), I think of a scene from a 50’s movie where all the Bad girls are dressed in leather pant suits with heavy cat’s eye eyeliner, roaming deserted streets while carrying switchblades and talking to their elders disrespectfully in a fast, nasally voice, saying things like, “You’re in big trouble now, Pops. Don’t gimme no guff now, you hear?” Sadly the only thing that even comes close in the TV show is the heavy eye makeup. Seriously, how much eyeliner and mascara can an eye take? These girls put on makeup just to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, although I must say that the few times they did get caught on camera without makeup, I was silently pleading for temporary blindness until they reapplied.

Find out what happens when things get ugly after the hump jump…

“The Bad Girls Club” is sort of like “The Real World” with half the gender and effort put into it. They have eight “girls” (I don’t think any of them are really under thirty-five) who interchange frequently, as they get kicked out of the house or quit for various reasons, and who are kept constantly liquored-up and half-naked. I often found myself wondering if the producers would be held responsible for the deterioration of the ladies’ livers as the show progressed, or at least pay for the herpes medication that was going to be in high demand. Really, these are just the same girls who were insanely annoying in high school and college but now are older and dumber and screaming for attention even more loudly. I am also pretty sure I have seen all of them in the “Girls Gone Wild” commercials.

The only thing that can get you kicked out of the house on this show is physically fighting. Emotional abuse is fine, just don’t leave marks. The one time that I got excited was when there I could sense a real fight coming between the rough girl, Aimee from South Philly, and the exotic dancer/hustler (which I am going to assume is a nice name for hooker) named Ty. If anyone was going have a good punch-out, it was these two and I was ready to see it. Instead, they looked like a couple of drag queens slapping at each other over who used the last of the hairspray. I couldn’t have been more disappointed in them. So, Ty was kicked out because she threw the first punch, but by punch they must have meant her limp-wristed fly-swatting move that wasn’t even memorable enough to pass as a Vogue pose.

All in all, “The Bad Girls Club” is a pretty lame show where nothing really happens and I felt my IQ dropping every few minutes. However, if you would like to see what the girl who got really wasted, ran around naked, puked in public and tried to sleep with your boyfriend in college is up to, tune in, Tuesdays at 10pm on Oxygen!

Tags: Television