Observations Of An Obsessive Compulsive TV Aficionado

You know what show is really awful and therefore awesomely good? How about The Real Housewives of Orange County?!?! Yay!

Now, I think “Real” is a bit of a stretch considering these women are made up of 80% silicone and collagen, but I guess the creators thought the idea of calling it “The Bought and Paid For Housewives of Orange County” was a double entendre that would go over the peroxide-filled heads of too many people. That was a long, catty sentence, I know. ANYWHO, recently I was thinking about the show and trying to decide why I like it so much, considering that it stands for everything I abhor: greed, stupidity, self-indulgence, ignorance and fake nails.

Find out why Sarah loves The Real House Housewives of Orange County despite herself after the jump…

Then I realized, well I guess that’s why I like it, it’s my chance to see people live in a way that I have always detested, not so that I can understand them more, but so that I can reaffirm my beliefs and think: “Yes Sarah, it’s better to be poor and self aware, than rich and stupid,” and then I eat some Ramen noodles and check my negative balance on my bank account and think about how much smarter I am than them as I crawl into my cardboard box to go to sleep.

OK, maybe that’s not really it, but it certainly is fascinating to me to watch people who really think that life is all about money and looks, live in this bubble of self-perceived designer perfection. Whoah, that was a little deep. I think what frightens me the most about these people are the children they are breeding. For the most part, they are horrible little things, lounging around by the pool all day comparing designer bikinis and whining about EVERYTHING. I just want to take all of them to a devastatingly impoverished nation, drop them off with nothing but their Louis Vuitton luggage and say “Good luck!” with my fingers crossed behind my back while the Malaria-filled mosquitoes descend. It does anger me that these parents are just teaching their kids that money is everything and people who make less than a million dollars shouldn’t be allowed past their gates and that when you turn sixteen, you should automatically get a BMW because you deserve it just for being you! Oh SHUT UP!

Alright so I suppose it seems that I swing from tinges of jealousy at all the nice things they can afford, cars, houses, vacations, hair extensions, to thank god I was raised to know that there is more to life than Louis Voitton and boob jobs. I think that’s how most of you would feel if you watched the show, and if not, well I hope you make enough money to get past those gates and stay there. And don’t come crying to me when your silicone is leaking and your golden haired, bikini clad tanned children have taken over your bank accounts because I will busy. Eating Ramen and smiling down at my real boobs.