Observations Of An Obsessive Compulsive TV Aficionado

February 23rd, 2007 // 5 Comments

You know what show is really awful and therefore awesomely good? How about The Real Housewives of Orange County?!?! Yay!

Now, I think “Real” is a bit of a stretch considering these women are made up of 80% silicone and collagen, but I guess the creators thought the idea of calling it “The Bought and Paid For Housewives of Orange County” was a double entendre that would go over the peroxide-filled heads of too many people. That was a long, catty sentence, I know. ANYWHO, recently I was thinking about the show and trying to decide why I like it so much, considering that it stands for everything I abhor: greed, stupidity, self-indulgence, ignorance and fake nails.

Find out why Sarah loves The Real House Housewives of Orange County despite herself after the jump…

Then I realized, well I guess that’s why I like it, it’s my chance to see people live in a way that I have always detested, not so that I can understand them more, but so that I can reaffirm my beliefs and think: “Yes Sarah, it’s better to be poor and self aware, than rich and stupid,” and then I eat some Ramen noodles and check my negative balance on my bank account and think about how much smarter I am than them as I crawl into my cardboard box to go to sleep.

OK, maybe that’s not really it, but it certainly is fascinating to me to watch people who really think that life is all about money and looks, live in this bubble of self-perceived designer perfection. Whoah, that was a little deep. I think what frightens me the most about these people are the children they are breeding. For the most part, they are horrible little things, lounging around by the pool all day comparing designer bikinis and whining about EVERYTHING. I just want to take all of them to a devastatingly impoverished nation, drop them off with nothing but their Louis Vuitton luggage and say “Good luck!” with my fingers crossed behind my back while the Malaria-filled mosquitoes descend. It does anger me that these parents are just teaching their kids that money is everything and people who make less than a million dollars shouldn’t be allowed past their gates and that when you turn sixteen, you should automatically get a BMW because you deserve it just for being you! Oh SHUT UP!

Alright so I suppose it seems that I swing from tinges of jealousy at all the nice things they can afford, cars, houses, vacations, hair extensions, to thank god I was raised to know that there is more to life than Louis Voitton and boob jobs. I think that’s how most of you would feel if you watched the show, and if not, well I hope you make enough money to get past those gates and stay there. And don’t come crying to me when your silicone is leaking and your golden haired, bikini clad tanned children have taken over your bank accounts because I will busy. Eating Ramen and smiling down at my real boobs.

  1. 2 Old 4 This

    I haven’t watched much of this show but enough to pick up these (probably misguided) observations.
    Tell me, anyone in the know, if I’m just hating:

    One woman is a realtor who appears to sell almost exclusively within their gated community.

    A friend of hers, who also lives in the gated community works as a mortgage underwriter.

    Another member of their clique is an insurance broker.

    All buddies, hanging out together on “reality” TV.

    Is it a marketing ploy? Is this show just a weekly infomercial with extra boobies and drama? Or just a coincidence that they are all BFF and their businesses compliment each other.

  2. deejay

    OK…my take..
    The show is boringly engineered to create a “genuine O.C. experience”. So there is ALOT of snooze time. But in between and/or in spite of;
    1) Honestly, the women are the breadwinners and they are smart, competitive and amazingly successful. Yeah, they network among their own but geez every successful person knows that is how the game is played. So kudos to Jeana and Vicki. Both their husbands are less driven and prone to rest on their wives laurels and income and disappear into the golf course. Do you have to be an O.C. woman to have THAT experience? I think not.
    2)Some women get dumped by their husbands who leave them with kids who are a handful and damaged. Thats Lauri – nothing new there.
    3)Awww.. Vicki – she scrambled her way out of Ohio and her Mom throws it in her face every chance she gets that the successful daughter… well, she just doesn’t fit in anymore with the “family”. Poor Vicki. Still trying to make it right wth a toxic Mama. Again – nothing new there.
    4) Everything else – well…teenage daughters wearing inappropriate clothing and body art, teenage sons beating the crap out of each other in sibling rivalry, parents with big dreams and kids who live for the moment. So – could they call it “The Real Housewives of Kansas City” and have it be pretty much the same storyline? Yeah. They could. So Bravo throws in some Louis Vuitton and half a dozen saline implants and that makes it a “different” life? Naahh. Not really.

  3. genevieve83

    Goodie. This post has drawn me out of lurkville to comment…

    I can stomach everyone on the show for the most part…except for Jo and Slade. It should be called the “Ho and Slade” show, considering these two are doing the most acting. Gag. She makes me sick with all of her, “Responsiblity? Ugh!” comments. I’m a mom and a housewife – a REAL one – and I love it. She makes it seem like a prison term, when in reality, twenty years from now I’ll be surrounded by grandchildren and family and a comfortable home, and Jo will be locked up alone in her gorgeous mansion, slurping down a pitcher of martinis, while peeking out the window, spying on all of her neighbors.

    What kind of an idiot can’t read a three ingredient Betty Crocker cookie recipe? I want to slit my wrists everytime her materialistic, greedy baloney lips come on the screen. Give a hundred Jeanas or Lauris, hell, even the baseball reject son of Jeana’s, over Jo.

    Yeah, and her singing career? Barf. Jo, you can’t sing and that wiffle dog-dying sound croaking out of your throat isn’t music. It’s torture. Spare us, please!

    Slade is just a poser. His son is totally cute, though, so he’s not completely hopeless. At least he makes cute kids. Slade’s a douche, tho, because he lets Jo use him for his money. He may have alot, but she’s a black hole, and he won’t when she’s done.

    There’s another site that was closed down, and had all kinds of juicy tidbits about the “Housewives” that you’d never guess just watching the show. There was some good insider info posted by people who know the “Housewives” personally. But, alas, the lawyers closed it down, to protect their bimbos, errr, I mean, clients’ privacy. Bastards.

  4. jones

    I agree that the show is fun to watch to remind myself that pleasure, and its black hole of infinite want, can never compare with the joy that arises from within. Keep in mind that wealthy people watch the show (much wealthier than the new money in Orange County) and I can assure you they are not impressed. So, no, I don’t think realizong they are shallow is a jealousy thing, it’s a common sense thing.

  5. sophy

    I haven’t watched the show yet. so I have no idea at the moment but I know, Sarah! :)
    Sarah, for friendship!! Cheer up! :)

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