“No, Sweetie, We Had You So Mommy Didn’t Have To Go To Jail….”

June 15th, 2007 // 15 Comments

“…but don’t worry, we eventually fell in love with you after our partying days were over. Now fetch Mommy a gin and tonic.” Nicole Richie is reportedly pregnant, and sources are saying she got knocked up to hopefully avoid jail. That’s sorta selfish. It’s bad enough to bring a kid into your world when you’re a self-absorbed ano with drug problems but now you’re going to use it as a shield in court. If I was in her womb, I’d miscarry myself!

Nicole Richie is being coy on the question of whether she’s pregnant, but a good pal of hers says she’s definitely carrying Joel Madden’s love spawn. “Nicole is kind of hoping her pregnancy will keep her out of jail,” the friend said. Richie is facing time due to a DWI arrest earlier this year. But friends are concerned and “wondering if she can carry the baby to term because of her weight issues,” we’re told. A rep for Richie didn’t return calls.

Seriously, I’m guessing the baby can’t exist on Pall Malls and shredded tissues. It’s going to be fighting her ass for every nutrient. Who am I kidding, you know she’s rocking a pregnancy pillow like they do in the soaps. Do you really think this heifer wants to share the spotlight?

(Mavrix)

By J. Harvey
asl

  1. Zekers

    I highly doubt she is pregnant but, if she is and thinks it will keep her out of jail then she’s pretty much kidding herself. I really, really hope she isn’t pregnant…UGGGGH!

  2. Kare Bear

    If I was in her womb, I’d miscarry myself!
    =================================================
    J. Harvey you had me cracking up over here, I was laughing out loud staring at the screen, just so my co-workers wouldn’t think I was nuts I had to share that. It had them rolling too.

    But seriously now, if she’s doing this to avoid jail that’s really f-ed up and I hope it doesn’t hold any weight in the judge’s decision hell common women go to jail pregnant when they have committed a crime so why not Nicole? I just hope that maybe this will change her for the best interest of the child.

  3. Good God Damn! I have a hard time believing ANYONE is THAT selfish, but if this is true, they should wait till she delivers, throw her ass in jail and strap her down in ole sparky and flip the switch. What a waste of skin.

  4. mln

    it’s none of our business if she’s pregnant or not! if she is thats good! and it’s WRONG for someone to say, that they will miscarry if they were her child! thats beyond low!!
    It’s the simple fact that your just jealous! and leave the girl alone! she looks better then ever! There’s so much people talking so much crap about her, but I bet their the one’s that don’t miss an episode of The Simple Life! Since their so stuck up her ass, and business!

  5. kittycatastrophe

    Nicole has obviously not watched any of the prison documentaries on MSNBC if she thinks getting pregs is going to keep her out of jail.

    Also, if she is actually “purposely pregnant” she has taken the crown of selfishness from Paris’ empty little head and fastened it firmly to her own.

  6. Zekers

    Sorry Nicole er…mln. You’re er..she’s a lovely girl, a FINE role model for young women, we should all aspire to be you er…her. :p

  7. lookwhaticando

    One can only hope and pray that she is not knocked up. She is about as mature as a 5 year old, God help the child if she is.

  8. SARAH

    MLNmln said:

    It’s the simple fact that your just jealous! and leave the girl alone! she looks better then ever! There’s so much people talking so much crap about her, but I bet their the one’s that don’t miss an episode of The Simple Life! Since their so stuck up her ass, and business!
    ——————————————————
    Yes!! We’re all jealous of this selfish, anorexic, ignorant, no-talent cocaine addicted wench.
    their=they’re (they are)
    your=you’re (you are)

  9. spritz

    um…aren’t these pics of Jessica Simpson?

  10. dat_dOod

    lmao@SARAH

  11. Stephanie

    I’m surprised that she was even menstruating. Usually anorexics have amenorrhea (stop their periods). So if she is pregnant, it’s a miracle. A sad little miracle.

  12. Ray

    Why must they always have a beverage? WHY FOR GOD’S SAKE?! This is bugging me to no end…

  13. Laurita

    Ray, bevvies are easier to throw up. wink wink

  14. Ben

    Sarah, regarding mln’s spelling mistakes, you forgot that ‘then’ was used rather than ‘than.’

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