No Real Paris News, But We’re Trying Here

The latest on our up-to-the-minute coverage of Paris Hilton’s jail time concerns her attempts to make her cell a bit cozier. The heiress had put up pictures of her family on the walls, but they were taken down by guards. When Kathy and Rick Hilton called Greta Van Susteren on her FOX News show, “On the Record,” Kathy said that Paris told her mother that this is how her daughter is spending her time at the moment.

“I look at the ceiling. I look at the walls.”

And Rick Hilton touched on the subject of Paris’ Father’s Day card, in which she depicted her father, “holding her hand against the glass with her on the other,” and described it as “kind of cute.” Man, jail sounds boring. I want to hear about Paris joining a gang, or befriending another prisoner with a tattoo on her back that is really a map of the jail, as well as an escape route. I want a file baked into a cake, dammit! And the Hamburglar! I have a skewed sense of reality.

Tags: Paris Hilton