Nicole Richie’s Baby Might Be Legitimate

August 16th, 2007 // 10 Comments

Good Charlotte was on Regis and Kelly today and Regis got Joel Madden to admit he’s going to ask Nicole to marry his douche ass. First off, that’s pretty hardcore being on Regis and Kelly. They couldn’t get booked on Mother Angelica’s show? Secondly, way to wreck a surprise, Regis – you loud f*ck!

“You’re going to present her, maybe, with – did I hear the right thing, or should I not even talk about this?” said Philbin.

“Uh, what?” deadpanned Madden.

“A little ring, or something,” said Philbin.

“I was hoping it would be a surprise, but now -” answered Madden.

I’d cancel it, and not even ask her. Moment’s ruined, sorry. His band isn’t going anywhere, so he was smart enough to impregnate this meal ticket. She’s super-rich right? She has Lionel money? He’s all set. “Fiesta. Forever.” will pave the way to a comfortable life. He can spend it telling her to eat something, damnit and sleeping with members of the Good Charlotte fan club. Once with Nicole was enough, her vagina tried to suck the nutrients out of him. Forget sex, it needed sustenance!

More Joel and Nicole After the Jump

By J. Harvey

  1. Lisa

    You know what? I actually like the girl; she’s quite spicy! Let’s see what will be.

  2. NJ

    Is it just me, or does he look exactly like Pacey in that picture?

  3. tp

    meet him a couple of times, seems nice enough guy. was staying at a very plush hotel, so he’s doing alright on his own!

  4. goldend

    If you really overthink the whole deal for just a second, it really is pretty hardcore to appear on Regis & Kelly.

  5. Amazing how fast the skeleton was able to get pregnant and start eating for two, with no conflict between the babies needs and any Ano issues. Because she was never Ano? Cos she’s a self indulgent HWood brat who starved herself for attention and to punish her parents?

  6. Honey

    Lookit that tummy! I think I could see a hand poking out, and a little voice calling, “Feed me! Feed me!”

  7. lisa

    i actually like her too

  8. T-Bone

    I hate this Nig girl wanting to be a white, I said it once and I will keep on saying it.

  9. jenny

    j.harvey are one of the wittiest writers i’ve seen in a while, and it’s amazing.

  10. Sarah

    To T Bone
    Not only are you an ignorant racist asshole, you are also stupid. Nicole was adopted by her parents, and is actually caucasian. You are a pathetic excuse to the human race, get some education, you racist, stupid son of a bitch.

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