Nicole Kidman Is Full Of Information

Nicole Kidman was called to the stand in Australian court today to testify in a defamation case by Sydney photographer Jamie Fawcett against Fairfax Media. Nicole testified that Fawcett recklessly pursued her in a car chase in 2005, and basically stalks her ass. In the 2005 incident, Nicole said that her driver told her that they were being pursued by Fawcett and he was running red lights and going up on the dividers. Damn, a photo of Kidman isn’t like a photo of the Virgin Mama at Lourdes! Damn, wait til’ the red carpet before you kill a bitch! Kidman said she had to crouch down on the backseat and said she was “really, really scared”. As scared as you were when ex-husband Tom Cruise busted out the drag for the first time?

“I was crouched down for most of the trip,” Kidman told the court, demonstrating how she rested her head on her hands which were in a pray-like pose.

“I was told by John Manning that we were being followed by Jamie Fawcett and another car. He said they were driving crazy, had run a red a light and jumped a median strip,” she said.

“I was frightened and I was worried about a car accident. I was really, really scared,” said the Oscar-winning actress.

Nicole also revealed that her staff had discovered a “listening device” at her East Sydney palace the same day her moms saw Mr. Fawcett in the area. Her conversations can’t be that intense! In other news, Nicole is still trying to officially establish for ushow many kids she lost while she was with Tiny Space Queen. Haven’t we been over this? Jesus, draw some kind of chart and post it on your website. This broad and her uterus drama. Keep reading.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin Online

More photos of Nicole Kidman arriving at a Sydney Courthouse are after the jump.

Nicole has now established a timeline for all her pregnancy malfunctions during her marriage to Tom Cruise. She first suffered an ectopic pregnancy shortly after they were married in 1990. This let to their adopting Conor and Isabella. Nicole says she suffered an actual miscarriage in 2001, shortly before Tom filed for divorce. She claims she still has no idea why Xenu-tron left her. Well for two reasons. A) she figured out he liked his vaginas inside out and long and B) he needed the heir to the space throne and couldn’t rely on you for that. You’re better off without his gay galactic ass! Granted, you’re with an alcoholic country singer with bad highlights right now, but trust that it’s an upgrade.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin Online